Coming Up For Air

0.4

"Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours"

-The Arctic Monkeys, 'I Wanna Be Yours'

☂Ashton☂

Luke was looking at him like he was some kind of unsolvable jig-saw and Ashton shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"What?" He finally said, knowing that his face was very red. "I shouldn't have told you that. Shit."

Luke cocked an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Now you probably think I'm gay. Listen, I have to go. I'm gonna go. I'm going to leave now...so bye." Ashton stumbled over his phrases, realizing too late that he'd said the same thing three times but he was already tripping to climb back over the counter. "I'll get that cajón some other time. Yeah. Okay."

Luke hadn't moved and was shooting him a bemused look. "Why are you leaving?"

"Because you...I said...you look like...god, please stop looking me." Ashton was pretty sure Luke's eyes were actually making him high and that was why he was acting like this. Something about the quality of their color was piercing and unsettling and it made him very, very uncomfortable.

"Um. Why?" Luke finally, finally stood up, moving forward so that he was facing Ashton over the counter.

"It's just...your eyes are blue." Ashton answered lamely.

"Okay?" Luke chuckled. "Is that a problem?"

"Um...no...I...I think I might be having a panic attack." Ashton said, realizing now that the uncomfortable feeling clawing at his throat wasn't stemming from Luke at all. His heart was beating so loudly it was drowning out all the other sounds around him and his breathing was coming faster and faster and he felt so, so nauseated and his head was spinning and--

"Shit!" Luke cursed, vaulting the counter just in time to catch Ashton as he crumpled to the floor. Ashton's vision was fading in and out of focus, but a fleeting image of the blonde boy bending over him was the last thing he saw before black took over his vision and the universe went mute.

-

"Oh, thank god!" a voice said as Ashton opened his eyes. He squinted in the bright light, momentarily confused as to where he was.

"What...what happened?" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes and glancing around at the vaguely familiar surroundings.

"Does this mean I'm supposed to put your legs down now?" Luke mumbled to his phone, flicking it with his thumb. "Stupid web site."

"What?"

"Sorry! Uh, you passed out about three minutes ago. You had a panic attack. Do you have a pre-existing medical condition such as epilepsy, he--,"

"No. Just anxiety." Ashton said, feeling embarrassment stain his cheeks as the scene came rushing back to him. "Crap. I'm so sorry."

"S'okay. Not your fault. Um, here, I got you a glass of water...well, a mug but that's all I had. Um, you're supposed to drink it. I'm going to sit you up against the counter, okay?"

"Luke, I'm okay." Ashton said, swinging his legs off the stood Luke had propped them on and making a move to stand.

"Nope, not yet." Luke told him firmly. "This website says you have to get up gradually, starting in a sitting position. And you have to drink water."

Luke pushed his shoulders back lightly, pressing him against the bottom of the counter. Ashton felt weird where his fingertips touched him. He shivered.

"Oh, shit. Are you cold? Do you need a blanket? I don't have a blanket but you could wear my jacket. It's in the back. It says that you might want to use a blanket because sometimes people--,"

"Luke," Ashton interrupted, thoughtlessly reaching out and putting a finger to his lips. "Shut up. I'm fine."

Luke stared at him with wide, icy blue eyes, not saying a word. They stayed like that, looking at each other, for several long moments before Ashton realized that his finger was still on Luke's lips and Luke's hands were still lightly gripping his shoulders. They pulled away from each other simultaneously and while Ashton was suddenly very interested in his fingernails, he could feel Luke's eyes still fixed on him. It felt odd; hot and cold and tingly, like washing with peppermint soap in a warm shower.

"Anyway, uh..." Luke said gruffly, coughing awkwardly, "Somebody's supposed to watch you for the next three hours. And you're supposed to have some food. Can I take you home? Do you have somebody there to look after you?"

"Well, no, but I'm okay. This has happened before, Luke. I can deal with it by myself. I'm usually alone when it happens anyway." Ashton told him, trying to stand up again, but Luke pushed him down.

"Not yet. And that's no good. You don't have a roommate or anything?" Luke said disapprovingly.

"Nah. I've got my own dorm room at uni. There will probably be other people in the building, if that soothes your nerves." Ashton tried to joke, shifting and sitting up a little straighter. Luke was crouching next to him, but he stood up and looked at the clock, and then jogged over and flipped the sign in the window to 'Closed'.

"Five o'clock. We're done here. I'm going to do the cash out, and we're going to get you some food. I'll walk you home. And you can give me my shirt."

Ashton sighed. He didn't really have much of a choice but to say okay.

Luke grinned down at him.

"Stay sitting until I'm done. It'll only take a minute. What do you feel like having? Nandos? Or what about that place down the road...what's it called? Leek?"

"Oh, god, not Leek. I don't think I'll ever be able to show my face in there again." Ashton groaned. "That's where Liv had her meltdown."

"Liv? That was your girlfriend's name?" Luke asked, counting out notes and scribbling something on a sheet.

"Olivia, yeah."

"Hm," was all Luke said, and he fell quiet for a moment. "What about that place a few blocks over...Butterflower? It has sandwiches and it's pretty close to your campus, I think. That is, if you go to London Uni. Which I'm assuming you do. Right? You do?"

Ashton grinned at Luke's babbling, making sure the blonde wasn't looking when he did. "Yeah. It is. Okay."

"Okay. I think they close at six, so we better hurry...but not too fast. Gosh, maybe we shouldn't go there. It's kind of a long walk. I don't want you to strain yourself. How do you feel? Lightheaded? The website said that was normal. Did you finish the water? Do you think you should have some more--"

"Luke," Ashton interrupted, slowly hauling himself up and leaning on the edge of the counter. "I'm a big boy. I'm okay."

Luke blushed brightly, sucking his lip ring into his mouth. "Okay. Sorry."

"I do want food, though. So let's go."

Luke bobbed his head, slamming the cash register shut and pocketing the keys.

"Okay. Just let me grab my stuff."

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