My Escape / 𝐜. 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧

Chapter 2

"So... Miss Black-"

"Lilith, please call me Lilith." I interrupt him.

Doctor Cullen looks up from the file he has on me and smiles slightly. "Could you please explain to me what the other doctors in here are saying?" He said, referring to the doctors I'd seen at the beginning of last year.

"Well, the first one said I was mentally unstable, the second said I had philophobia -the fear of falling in love or emotional attachment- and then the third said I was an adrenaline junky." He raises an eyebrow.

"Why'd you see three Doctors?"

I sigh. "Because it's what my friends wanted." I look down at my hands. "It's all true though, what the doctors said. I can't drive without panicking, I don't want to make friends, I don't want any more attachments, and I was an adrenaline junky."

"Was?" He questions.

I nod my head. "After the incident a year ago-" I paused thinking about the incident. "I-I would go sky diving, mountain climbing, I would go cliff diving, bungee jumping, snorkling with sharks, drive twice the speed limit. Hell, I knew none of that would kill me, I just wanted to. It was that sudden rush, when you know you'll be okay, but you do it anyway. That feeling that reminds you what is was like to be human, to have your heart pumping so hard in your chest it's gonna burst, and then it's all over. Just like that, you're finished, poof! No more beating heart, no more rush of adrenaline, and you can say you've done it and survived." I chuckle slightly, and I know it makes me sound like a maniac. "You probably wouldn't understand anyway. And I know I sound crazy, but I also know I am. Who needs to be sane when not much can kill them?" I look up into Doctor Cullen's eyes and see him wide-eyed. "Doctor?" I ask.

He breaks out of his trance and straightens up in his chair. "No, no, I understand what you mean. I've been a vampire so long, that I forget what it's like to be human sometimes. You've just gotta find the thing that reminds you what it is like."

"And I've found mine? Adrenaline?" I chuckle and he shakes his head.

"No. Maybe an adrenaline rush is just your substitute. Something that can fill in the spot for a little while, before you find what it really is." I smile up at him and for a second he looks human. Instead of having that strict doctor look, he smiles back. We stay like that for a few seconds before I look away and he clears his throat. "Well, Lilith, could you tell me how old you are?"

"I was 25 when I was turned, and that was three years ago." I explain.

"Could you, uh, tell me how you were turned." He asked uncertainly.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. "I, uh, wasn't the perfect child, you see. And so I was actually still in school, because after my twelfth grade I took two years to travel around the world, and come home to take care of Billy sometimes. It was right after graduation, we have this big party and think of it as the last moment of our lives when we're really free, when we don't have to worry about work or school. A moment where we can all breath. You see, we've just finished our last year of school, and we're about to get real jobs." I stopped and closed my eyes, remembering the smell of the alcohol, the taste of the beer. "I've always been a party girl, sneaking out to drive to Seattle for a party my friends had told me about, and coming home to find that Jake had covered for me. God, the amount of times he saved my ass from being grounded is uncountable it's happened so many times. That night, I didn't get home though. A guy, he had been very sweet to me throughout the party, and I was letting go, I was having fun. You see, I wasn't drinking, if I was my friend Annabeth would've killed me, because I was expecting. Because I wasn't showing, no one knew but her and the father, but he was off with his football buddies. The guy-he-he brought me to a room in this persons house- and he-" I had to stop there because it was too much. He sighed and I pulled away. "I think that's enough for today, Doctor."