Her Name is Memory

11| old times

Chapter 11

I can't help it
but I knew I went too I went too far
yet came to nowhere

~Nathaniel's Lyric Journal

"I MISS NEW YORK."

I skipped the introductions and went straight to the main conversation. This was not a new admission that my best friends, Javier and Esteban had heard. At this point, this might as well be my new life motto.

It was the little things that reminded me of this throughout the day. First, it was the fact I had few options to do anything here. Second, it was the fact that I was the only Hispanic on my street, and I have been getting weird looks by my white neighbors. Third sign was scrolling through social media and watching my friends from home post pictures together like they already moved on without me.

Just because I know Javier and Esteban don't travel much throughout the country, I brought up every single detail to paint how life here was dramatically different than New York.

"What got you ticking this time?" Javier asked, his light tone sounded amused at my misery.

"It's just empty here," I said, looking at the empty road in front of me. To keep myself busy for today, I decided to explore the area and find new spots to eat. While driving home from work , I kept passing by a small ice cream shop that was on the side of the road. Despite the blistering heat, I ordered an ice cream and seat in the seating nearby that gave a view of the large corn field across the street.

I was balancing my cellphone between my ear and shoulder while eating the double fudge ice cream I bought before it melted.

"I think that's expected though, homie," Esteban mentioned.

"At least there's a girl there," Javier added with a tone that was suggestive. Esteban started to laugh when he realized it was about Elise. I mentioned her once when we were walking home, and ever since, they wanted to hear more about her.

I groaned, regretting the decision to tell them about her.

I brought up David as well or my work and they did not seem interested in that. Even though Esteban have a girlfriend and Javier is focused on working rather than a relationship, they seemed unhealthy focused on my own love life - or the lack of one.

"Chill, compa. We all know that you like the gringa," Javier tried to comfort me, which made me feel worse.

I didn't know if Elise could be simplified to just the gringa. I couldn't even fathom to do that.

She was the girl with blue eyes that could be touched by storm clouds before easily looking as calm as the sea. She was someone who is soft spoken, but her voice can echo in my mind for hours.

I'm overthinking this. They are just joking.

"What happened you saying you only date latinas though?" Esteban mused over the phone.

I took a bite of ice cream, and shook my head, slowly stopping when I remembered that they can't see me.

"I never said that," I objected.

That statement was one I had no recollection of. I just liked...girls. There wasn't specifically a race I preferred and was not a big factor for me when I chose to date.

"Actually you did. After you got drunk the day Emma dumped, you shouted that on the street and-" Javier reminded me before I made him stop.

That was a night I did not try to remember. After getting drunk and passing out in Esteban's home with no memory of the night before, I picked myself up to move on.