Book 3 [ The Untitled Series ]

Chapter Thirty-Three

Unedited- I'm going to try to post a small chapter around Wednesday

Ashley

The bleeding really started Sunday morning, and after a few hours of that, I experienced a lot of clotting. I was really an emotional wreck at that point. Sunday afternoon, Leon took me to the emergency room, where after an examination I was told that I had 'successfully' passed the baby. I was given a prescription for an antibiotic and told to make an appointment with my doctor within the next day or two- or to go back to the emergency room if the bleeding picked up.

And then they sent me away.

I sat solemnly in the passenger seat as we made two stops, first to pick up my prescription- and a pack of pads, because I had been using a small stash of pantyliners I had- and second, to pick up Raegan from Alexus' house.

" do you have a restroom that I can use?" I asked, once Alexus opened her door. I was hiding halfway behind Leon's massive form, and clutching the pads tightly in my arms. At any minute I was going to start crying again. I could feel it.

" yeah, you know where it is."

She let us in and I started to speed walk around them and toward the restroom that I knew was at the back of the house.

" I'll be right back." I heard Leon say, but I didn't pay it much mind. I was just reaching the bathroom door, when the tears started to run down my face and Leon grabbed me.

His arms felt nice around me. They did a good job to make me feel safe, but they did nothing to stop the pain the I was feeling in my heart.

" I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. His voice cracked slightly but he was able to reign his emotions in- but unfortunately I wasn't. " I love you so much and all I wanna do is see you happy. I know I can't fix this but ima be here for you, forever."

His words didnt soothe me, they enraged me. I was reminded of the days since I'd been at Alexus' home when he hadn't been there for me. He'd been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that Raegan and I came second. It wasn't until I'd announced the miscarriage that he'd started to soften again. What if I'd never had the miscarriage?

" Leon-" I fought to get out of his arms, and once they finally dropped, I spun and pushed him away. He didn't look surprised, more like he'd been expecting it. " you don't get to be a loving and present part of this relationship when it's convenient for you! The fact that you think you can just- I just- we-" I didn't know what to say.

My anger quickly dissipated, and again I was just left with sadness. I didn't have it in me to be angry at the moment. I just needed him. I found myself walking back into his arms and burying my head against his chest.

"One thing at a time, baby. Go," he urged softly. " take care of what you need to take care of in the bathroom and I'll go get Raegan ready."

" don't leave me."

" I'll be right back, I promise."

I shook my head no, staying firmly put where I was. I'd probably look back on this moment and hate that i was being so clingy, but at the moment, being in his arms was the only thing that was making me feel even remotely better.

Seeing that I was serious about us not separating, he took me into the bathroom and closed the door behind us. When I still didn't move, he walked us over to the toilet, pulled down my pants and panties, and waited for me to sit.

I expected him to flinch away at the sight of blood on the pantyliner, but he didn't. He just stood in front of me as calmly as possible, though I could see his emotions in his body as they caused everything to be tense.

" you got it?"

I shook my head 'yes' and he left. No more than twenty seconds later, I heard the distinct sound of breaking glass, and a few second after that, I heard something else breaking.

Leon had tried to keep his cool throughout all of this, so it wasn't surprising to me that he needed an outlet to release whatever emotions he'd been bottling up. And on top of that, I was almost one hundred percent sure that he'd stopped taking his medication, and we hadn't been to therapy either. I couldn't imagine what was going on inside of his head.

The night was rough, especially with trying to pretend that I was okay for Raegan's sake. She knew that something was wrong with both Leon and I but she also knew better than to questions. Come morning time I felt a bit better- mostly because Leon stayed up with me all night talking. I wasn't sure if I'd ever recover fully from this event but I was just grateful to not what up in full breakdown mode.

Leon didn't let me help in getting Raegan ready for school, and for that I was grateful. I would have pushed myself, but honestly, I didn't feel like it. A couple hours of sleep sounded amazing for my nearly depleted energy. I hadn't forgotten about my lunch commitment to Carmen and was tempted to cancel, but knowing her, I knew that canceling would only give her grounds to show up at my house.

Either way Carmen was going to get the information she wanted so there was no point in dodging her.

Leon peeped his head in the room probably thinking I was asleep but I wasn't. I hadn't been able to fall asleep yet. " Ima stop and get you some breakfast on my way back. I had Raegan eat cereal. You-"

" I'm not hungry."

He just stared at me, unblinking for a moment. " so like I said, ima stop and get breakfast. You want something specific?"

I couldn't believe that he'd succeeded in making me smile when I felt so much like shit. " whatever you bring is fine."

" aight. Call me if you need something."

He left.

I laid in bed with the silence of the house until it became too much and I called Leon. It felt like he'd been gone ages when In reality it'd only been ten minutes.

" what's wrong? You okay? You need something?"

" I just miss you."

" Ima be right back, I promise."

" I know." I sighed. " it's just so quiet here. I feel like I should be at work doing something productive, not... this."

" if you get up out that bed to do anything other than to use the bathroom-"

" I'm not. I'm just saying." I said quickly. I didn't need him dragging me out of my club again. I got the point the first time.

" just relax. Take a nap or something. You need to get some rest."

" and you don't?" I asked.

" I'll sleep when you sleep."

It must've been the sensitivity that I had coursing through my veins from the recent events- and from my current state- making his statement bring tears to my eyes. He had been taking care of me flawlessly, and not complaining even at times when it was warranted. I knew he had emotions of his own to deal with, which at times made me feel guilty, but he wouldn't hear of it.

With emotions clear in my voice, I told him that I'd see him when he got back, we said 'I love you's' and hung up.

I didn't get to sleep while he was gone. Still I tossed and turned until Leon got back. We ate the breakfast in bed- pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Once we were finished we curled back up on the bed, and as the morning sun started streaming through the window, we went back to sleep.

The only thing that was on my mind was how I wasn't looking forward to sitting down with Carmen and rehashing everything. However, she was my bestfriend, and not talking to her just wasn't an option.