Struggle For Power [✓]

Chapter 37

JUSTINS POV

One week.

It had been one whole week since my father was found dead at the scene.

Today was the funeral, which myself and my father's sister managed to organise in such a short time, somehow. I had no idea how we managed everything, maybe it was the Bieber tag that helped us along the way. Every small detail seemed perfect, I had to admit.

I was surprised between us all we managed to remember even the smallest of details to make this day radiate Michael. The type of flowers he grew in the garden for the floral detailing - gerbera. The type of coffin he wanted. Dark wooden exterior with a royal blue interior. I somehow remembered he wanted a cremation so the matte black urn with gold-encrusted detailing was our chosen one.

With the stress of planning and wallowing in my own self-pity, I hadn't even thought about Jazzy and how she was feeling today. She had stayed at my aunt's since and I only saw her once in person, to tell her what happened. I have never seen that girl go through such pain and the worst part was I couldn't do anything to ease an inch of it. No present, no amount of money or materialistic bullshit would ever come close to actually having her father by her side.

I made a phone call each and every night and she phoned me whenever she cried. We stayed up late to talk, Selena too sometimes, and it was a bonding experience, it was a shame over the circumstances.

The first challenge of the day was putting on the suit while mentally preparing to say goodbye.

"You know I love you, right?" Selena emerged in the reflection of the mirror I was frozen in front of. I kept losing my train of thought, gazing into space like I was daydreaming but that title seemed too perfect or happiness filled.

This week, Selena had been an angel, true support. I don't think I would have been able to keep it all together as much without her, even though I felt like I was dealing with this whole grieving business properly.

But I barely cried, barely showed any noticeable emotion. I did surround myself with a lot of guilt for that though but it remained closeted. I wanted to shed a tear for my father, but I couldn't let that exposure enter my system. I hated this inability to break my masculinity at a time like this, or even the hate I had for my father. I didn't even want to go to his funeral initially, not until Selena talked me out of that mindset.

But all this shit was for another day, another time . . .

"I know you do," I confirm as I try to gather myself as quickly as I can by starting to button the shirt that was just covering my body and exposing a little peek of my chest and stomach area. "You keep reminding me every ten minutes, I don't think it's possible to forget."

"That's good then." She watches me, worries staining her eyes.

"Selena, you don't need to smother me or keep worrying that I'll break down or whatever you're thinking, I'm doing fine." The more I said it, the more I'll convince myself. Maybe, even if it's for one single moment, it will stick and my nerves won't feel like sandpaper every time I move or think.

"I just feel so useless watching you, not knowing what to say, what to do." I wrap the black-tie around my neck and in an instant response, she takes steps closer to take in charge.

I sigh as she begins to successfully do up my tie. I didn't protest though.

I look down at her beautiful self, watching her hands softly do up the tie almost to my high standards. She was already fully dressed with her makeup and hair done gracefully. The smokey eye look, the straight hair falling past her elbows and the simple black dress that just fell above her knees.  "You don't need to do or say anything. You've been everything I needed for the past week and I'm grateful for that but honestly, I'm doing fine."