Struggle For Power [✓]

Chapter 38

Selenas POV

"Believe it or not, this is the first drink I have had all week," I announce before I throwback nearly the entire contents of the raspberry gin and lemonade drink just placed in front of me.

God, I needed the alcohol to run in my blood, now and fast.

I wasn't drinking the extra-hard stuff yet, I don't think my body would appreciate the buzz so early on but this would suffice for now.

"Didn't you go to your ex-fiancés funeral two days ago?" Demi drinks her contrasting water with a bright yellow bendy straw so politely as she interrupts my drinking.

"Yeah." I turn my head towards her, slamming the glass that now only contained various ice cubes. "And?"

She slouches in her seat, but she glanced at me like I was missing the obvious. Her eyes just widened. "The purpose of funerals is to drink and get absolutely fucked up."

Before I could even figure out a response to that comment, Ariana's time was immaculate as she slides into our booth with a tray filled with assorted shots and another round of drinks and she places them central on the table.

"Last time I checked, I think it's to celebrate the life of the deceased." Ariana's logic came into play as she includes herself into the conversation.

"You could do that but that's boring." Demi shrugs carelessly.

I didn't know what to respond with, instead, my hand gets drawn a shot glass presented in front of me and I knock it all back instantly as my friends just watched me wanting to consume myself in the contents. My hand shakily declines a second one, for now, I suppose I had some kind of restraint in me.

I thought spending a day with the girls would be beneficial for various reasons. It meant that I could get out, enjoy the socialisation with my friends along with a few harmless drinks while Justin and Jazzy could have quality time together without my presence ruining that. They needed to bond together, more than ever and I didn't want to be a reason why that couldn't happen.

I know Jazzy and I have a good relationship but I just felt giving some space for quality sibling bond was on the radar, plus I get to see them both when they finish their day out so it's not like I'm avoiding them.

Jazzy had been acting out since Michaels passing and I suppose it was normal to grieve in such a way, especially for a young girl who probably just wants her father to tuck her in at night or chase away the monsters under her bed. Justin thought spending quality time would mean she could open up to him or a solution could be found.

But all of the solutions to my troubles and worries were going to be at the bottom of every alcohol bottle or glass. Even if it was for an hour, I craved that numbness.

Truth be told, ever since the funeral I couldn't help but feel responsible for his suicide. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't and feeling that was wrong. But the fact my involvement with Justin meant he was isolated from his family and that alone could have sent him to the edge. I was unknowingly prepared to take the only thing he had in his life - the company.

He deceived me, betrayed and I was the gears to his revenge plot, but I could never intentionally hurt someone that bad which taking their own life was the only viable outcome.

"So, enough funeral talk, I want to know who is your mystery man is this time around, Demi?" I was suddenly drawn out of my deep thoughts and back into the real world around me to my two best friends giggling and taking in the gossip.

She seems a little smug as she flicks her eyes towards me, then back to Ari. "Actually, I have no one"

"What?" We were both somewhat shocked. "Did you forget about him or?" Ariana snaps back at her but Demi seemed very serious, which was very odd.