The Decision Of My Life ~ Fan fic Luke Brooks Jai Brooks Luke Hemmings Ashton Irwin Harry Styles and Niall Horan

So sorry not an update

Hey guys. This is a serious message. I am not looking for attention. I am sorry for taking so long to update. I have multiple reasons. I've been having a bit of writers block(if you could leave ideas that would be cool). I have also been told I am having a surprise visit from some of my family. So we have been rushed around the house cleaning. And to my moms bf nothing's perfect. I don't think any of you guys know me personally. But if any of you are from my OUAT fan Account on Instagram (@/onceuponapangurl) or from my main fan account (@/_superfangirl_) you may know me a bit. On my main fan account I posted a picture saying what has happened to me recently. I will also say that here. On July 26 I attempted suicide. For most of my life that I can remember, I have struggled with really bad anxiety. And for the last 4 years I have been struggling with depression that has been getting worse. I kept everything in for a long while. My family doesn't always help with yelling and being unsupportive. So I eventually broke down. Before that day I was about 7 months clean of cutting. My suicidal thoughts got worse. Before when I had them I could talk myself out of it. But this time I was struggling. I thought maybe I was suppose to be gone already and since I wasn't my life was gonna be a living hell. But I thought what could be waiting for me and what better lives people could have in it. My friends Weren't really friends. They would always ditch me and leave me behind. I felt like no one liked me and I was useless in life. My mom told me I need to get my head out of the clouds cause me dreams were unrealistic. And I just thought maybe everyone's right for doing and telling what they were saying to me. I tried to let people talk me out of what I wanted to do. But they just couldn't. I attempted and over dose. I took any and every medication I could find in large amounts. It didn't like me though, it made me pretty sick. I'm not sure why it didn't work. I was and a bit upset today. But I'm not sure what to think. I am feeling a little bit better today. But maybe I'm not meant to be gone. Not yet at least. Maybe you aren't either if you feel like you are. All I want to say is I don't think my idea is the ideal choice but I know what it feels like to think it is. I hope you let someone try to talk you out of doing it. If you have people that are willing to they are the best. They don't even have to be that close for you to listen. The person who tried to talk me out was a friend from out of state I've only known for a little less than a year. But I want to let you guys know I know what it feels like to be there. And if you ever feel like that, don't be afraid to talk to someone you know will listen. I want all you to know I'm here for now. And I am here for you. x

Thanks to people who bring me joy and make me happy to be alive so often:

•The Janoskians

•5Seconds of Summer

•One Direction

•SOO many more

Glad I was here from the start I will try to be here till the end

Updates are coming very soon.