Iron Will (sequel to Iron Soul)

Chapter Eleven: Disposable Heros

        Bucky and I sit on the floor, neither of us talking, our backs against the counter. Thoughts race through my mind, Hydra resurfacing here and there. The silence seems tired and worn, felt all too often by Bucky and I. I fold my hands in my lap, staring at the wall and door in front of us. What happens if I go all Hydra Jet in front of my dad? How exactly am I going to explain that to him without completely giving it all away at once? Should I just tell him like Steve has been telling me to? God why did Hydra have to ruin me like this?! How can people even deal with a monster like me? God this is awful. This is just eating me up and it's all Hydra's fault. Well actually, not entirely Hydra's fault. More like a mix of their's and mine because I'm the one that's keeping it from everyone. Well not everyone, more like just my parents... which that really isn't the best. But hey, what am I supposed to do? God this is stressing me out. Why can't I just go back to before all of this happened? Okay solutions. I need to find a solution. Well let's see. I could just tell them. But then they are never going to let me out of their sight again. Maybe that's for the best though. Oh who am I kidding? It would be like being in Hydra all over again. Well minus the electrocutions and beatings. And my dad's breakfasts... oh I could go for some of his french toast right now. I should ask him to make me some after I tell him. Yeah, that should be my game plan. Tell them and then demand french toas-

        "What are you thinking about?" Bucky asks me. I glance over at him and find his eyes trained on mine.

        "Nothing." I lie. I fold my hands in my lap and look down at them.

        "No. You were concentrating pretty hard." he points out.

        "Oh yeah? How could you tell?" I press. Bucky licks his lips and chuckles.

        "You get this little crease, right there, when you think really hard. It happens every single time without fail." he tells me, running his finger just above my right eyebrow. I touch the place where his thumb grazed.

        "I do not!" I exclaim.

        "Yeah, yah do." Bucky argues back. I continue to run my finger over the spot, determined to prove Bucky wrong. I squint at him and shake my head. "What?!" he questions.

        "You would have to study me pretty hard to notice something as small as that." I point out. I finally give up and drop my hand back into my lap. Bucky smiles at me as he stares into my eyes. I glance down shyly, a blush working its way onto my face.

        "Well, what did you expect me to do when we were in Hydra? You go off in this world when you work on the suit and that's what you did like nearly the entire time we weren't too busy being assassins. I had to provide myself with some entertainment." he says, smirking and half laughing.

        "Could have worked on your hand to hand combat." I point out, my fingers gripping the cube in my pocket.

        "I could have. You're completely right and that's probably what Hydra wanted me to do and I probably would have avoided a lot of beatings if I did that but that would have meant leaving you alone in Hydra, and I... I uh, couldn't do that." Bucky says, locking his eyes on mine.

        "Why couldn't you?" I ask him, slightly confused as to what he means.

        "Because you were the only thing that made sense to me. You were the only thing that was right." I stare at him.

        "Buck...." He smiles lightly and glances down to the floor in front of us.

        "So we're bringing the old nickname back." he states. I laugh and smile, memories of our first experience with Hydra making there way to the front of my mind.