Iron Will (sequel to Iron Soul)

Chapter Nineteen: The Unnamed Feeling

Bucky's POV

        If there's one thing I learned from Hydra, it's how to pretend to be fine. It's how to put on a smile, a stone cold face, or a smirk when I'm dying inside. How to keep it all in when others are around, and fall apart behind closed doors, accompanied by nothing but pure loneliness. I smile at the passing agents, pretending to be the happy and relaxed man that they all think I am. I wink at some of the younger female agents, keeping my cocky and flirty reputation alive. I reach my door and slide my thumb across the sensor. I push open the heavy door and close it behind me. I slide out of my shoes, and walk into my bedroom. I remain calm, cool and collected as I slip out of my strike team uniform, the mission to find the remains of Jet's crash having failed. I pull on a black tank top and some mesh shorts. I look at myself in the mirror, and glance down at the picture that is in the corner of it. Jet and I are both pulling the most ridiculous faces ever imaginable. I grab the picture and smile faintly, remembering that day. The smile fades to a frown, tears forming in my eyes. I slump onto the floor, gripping onto the picture. Her smile is reaching her eyes, something I haven't seen in far too long.

        A sob escapes my lips, the tears flowing now. I pull my legs into my chest, hugging onto them tightly. God damn it Jet! Why can't you just be safe and here with me?! A scream comes next, formed deep inside me and pushed out by the terrors of reality. I grip at my head, curling into a tight ball. Rages pours through me, hating Hydra, wanting every single one of them dead, not caring who gets in my way or if I have to kill them to get to Hydra. But then the sadness takes over again, depression crashing over me. My breathing is quick and staggered, the tears soaking my shirt and skin. No one has ever seen me like this, and I intend to keep it that way. I hold the picture close to me, begging to be able to reach out to her and comfort her in some way. I hate Hydra!!! I find myself drifting off into a subtle, restless sleep.

        I open my eyes, still laying on the floor of my bedroom. Warm morning light pours through my window, warning me that I need to get up. I sit up,  rubbing my eyes and looking at the crumpled picture. I lay my head back onto the bed, a heaviness settling over me. There's a quiet knock on my front door, a light one that seems very familiar. I stand up on my feet and walk through the apartment, my hand landing on the door knob. I open it slowly and look out into the hall.

        She stands before me, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. She smiles her shy smile, the one that makes my heart melt in a millisecond. My eyes widen, my jaw drops, my heart quickens.

        "Hey Buck." she says quietly.

        "Jet." I say, walking towards her and wrapping her up in my arms. Her small, but strong frame shakes in my arms, her tears soaking into my tank top. The gentle curves and lines of her body fit perfectly against mine. I deeply inhale her scent, her shampoo and body wash giving me a sense of relief. I kiss her head and tighten my arms around her. I find single, stray tears descending down my face. Her arms are covered in cuts and bruises, obvious battle scars.

        "I.. I fought my way out. I got here. I remember Bucky, I remember everything." she says, her voice muffled as she speaks into my chest.

        "Jet..." I say, gripping onto her tighter.

        "I love you Buck." she admits. I look down at her to find her brown eyes looking up at me.

        "Jet, you have Ste-"        

        "Steve doesn't matter anymore. I'm yours Buck, I always have been." She presses up onto her toes, placing her soft, warm lips on mine. I cup her face, bringing her closer to me. Her hands curl up in my tank top, her breath warm against me. We pull away, our eyes instantly locking on each other's.