Servamp:Behind their Façades.

Chapter 14

To say that Licht was panicking was an understatement; he was in a mid-life crisis right now, watching Mahiru seize up and look like he was dying made him want to do the same.

  They were just walking to the arcade without a care in the world,when he saw that Mahiru's eyes were glassy for a moment,but he just shrugged it off.

  He wish he hadn't.

  Mahiru,in the past,would always appear dazed and out of it for periods of times without reasons,so he supposed that it was just like those times and thought nothing of it.

  He always thought that Mahiru was dissociating, but he just pushed the thought down whenever it resurfaced; but there were times when Mahiru didn't even realise he was doing things.

Like when Licht noticed that Mahiru would sometimes clench his fists when he appeared dazed and in deep thoughts.

As if what he was thinking made him seethe in anger internally,yet not showing it at the same time, only showing it through the clenching of his fists.

  That was worrying,and Licht worried a little when he saw Mahiru acting the same as before,but he just pushed the thought down again.

   He definitely wasn't expecting for Mahiru to start fidgeting and gasping for air,which made all of them look at him in horror and worry.

  He had shouted something out,even though he knew it would be futile,"OI MAHIRU!GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!"

  Licht thought fast and immediately dragged Mahiru into an alleyway where people wouldn't be able to see them and he hoped that it would calm Mahiru down,but it was fruitless.

  The moment they reached a shady area,both Hyde and Kuro transformed back,with Kuro immediately rushing to Mahiru's aid and watching with shocked and beyond worried and terrified eyes.

  Licht just blurted out words that came to his mind,"We have to make him breathe and focus! He looks like he's choking!G-God damn it!"

  He knows what this is,because he has dealt with it for so many times when they were younger and still very naïve,and to be honest,he should've expected for him to have another one in the future.

But not this soon.

  It's either an anxiety or panic attack that Mahiru always just had when nothing happened at all.

  Licht shoved Mahiru's back up the wall,as he glared at him,hating the fact that his attack came at the worst timing possible,and noticed his fingers trembling and fidgeting.

  Not good.

  Licht had known that Mahiru,even though he put up such a strong façade,was incredibly weak inside and until now,is still a 6 year old child haunted by his parents' death.

  Call it Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder,or PTSD in short,if you will.

  He has known that Mahiru would frequently get panic or anxiety attacks but god damn did he wish that it came later.

When he asked (more like he forced the poor brunet to tell him) Mahiru what his panic attacks were about, he answered that they usually consisted of when he doubted himself or when he felt empty, hollow,like a shell.

Other times was when he felt afraid,and when Licht asked about what he was afraid of,he answered this:

"I'm afraid of feeling that I'm useless,hollow,the worst scumbag to live on the Earth;it just scares me.It's just so noisy and the worst thing is, most of the time,I agree with those 'thoughts'."