Live Again (an Andy Biersack love story)

Ch. 1-Remembrance

So, I've decided to make a new story. BelovedDownfall's story Unexpected inspired this. Sorry if I don't update very often, I'll have two stories going at the same time as I'm writing this, so sorry if I get behind, but I'll try my best to stay up to date.

Jez's POV:

"The last time my sister asked me to do something for her, it was to do a video for her YouTube channel. I have to admit I didn't want to do it. I wanted to do this even less, but who would I be to deny my twin'a dying wish." I choked a little on the words.

"So this is my eulogy, for the greatest friend I've ever had. When we were young, we hated each other. In every way, we always tried to ruin each other however we could. As we got older, we grew apart. We didn't hate each other anymore, we just... Stopped. Everything. We didn't talk, didn't see each other, nothing. It was like I didn't exist to her and she didn't exist to me. We ended up going to a concert together by complete chance, and ever since that day five years ago, she's been my closest friend. I always told her I didn't know what I'd do without my big sister, and I still don't. She was my rock, and I was hers. Once, she promised me she'd tell me if she ever contemplated it. I wish she would've held to that promise. Maybe I wouldn't have to be standing here today."

I couldn't keep going. Tears closed my throat off, and I just shook my head. I stepped off the podium, and started running. I didn't have a destination, I just needed to get away from staring at my face being lowered into a grave. She had a window built into the coffin, so I had to watch as practically my reflection was being buried. The only difference was that she had dyed her whole head a dark blue, while I only dyed the ends.

I ran out of the graveyard, and into the woods. Branches tore at my black rights and ripped open my dress at my sides, scratching my arms. I knew the forest like the back of my hand, and ran blinded by tears to the treehouse Delilah and I made to get away from the world. I stumbled up the ladder and ripped off my dress, pulling on the spare clothes we had up there. It wasn't an accident that I grabbed her top. I wore my favorite black shorts, and her favorite big sweatshirt from Alex Gaskarth's line, with his name on it. It was a dark gray, and fit my mood. Bleak. I couldn't stay there, though. Everything reminded me of her. Selfies we took together, her old perfume, her Pierce the Veil converse she had made herself then got the band to sign. Even my stuff reminded me of memories of her. Her camera was sitting in the corner, and I got a crazy, stupid, weird idea. I turned it on.

"Hey there strangers," I said, forcing a smile onto my face. "I'm Jezebel, for those of you who don't remember, Delilah's twin sister. This is an update for you. I just ran away from Delilah's funeral. I couldn't read the eulogy I wrote for her." I took a deep breath. "Delilah Mary Stone committed suicide the night of July 7th, 2014. I was out visiting an old friend and came home too late to save her." I was crying again. "She wanted you all to know that she's sorry she couldn't have been stronger for you, and she doesn't want to see any of you anytime soon. She called me out in particular. She knows I don't know how I'm supposed to keep living without her. I'm going to keep her channel up, keep making videos, because I think we could all use the support. And sis, wherever you are, I miss you, and I'm so sorry." I blew a kiss to the camera, then turned it off. I pulled out the card. And grabbed the old laptop we kept up here for whenever we made videos. I uploaded it as is, still crying my heart out. Now I could get out. I had to. Just for a little while. I didn't want pity from strangers, I wanted comfort, I wanted to cry, and most of all, I wanted Delilah back. I wished I could get lost. I wanted to lose myself so badly and get caught in a maze and have to focus to get out or starve to death and get to see her again. I just wanted to never have to feel anything ever again. My boyfriend cheated, my sister committed suicide, my best friend betrayed me and there was nothing left for me here. Why in the hell was I still alive, then? I wanted to die. I was ready. Why couldn't it just happen already? Why couldn't whatever fucking god there is strike me dead? Why the hell did I deserve to live, after the best person I knew died? Makeup and tears blinded me as I continued running, but I still could sense where I was going, I couldn't reach that feeling of weightlessness and serenity you get when you have no idea where you are, and you don't care. I just kept running. After the dirt turned to asphalt then cement under my feet, after I started passing houses, I continued running. I've never been fond of running, but now I couldn't help but keep going, until my legs gave out beneath me and I fell to my knees. I was in another forest, or maybe the same one. I had lost all sense of where I was. I started screaming and crying harder. I just wanted it all to go away. I felt someone grab me from behind and hug me tightly, crying as well. They smelled like lemons and rain. Will, my brother. I sobbed into his shirt. He was still in his nice suit, which was all torn up and stained. Neither of us cared. My sister was gone. The most important person in the world to me had disappeared, and left me alone.

I was crying writing this, thinking about what would happen if my sister were to die. I think about things like that too much. I need to stop making myself sad. Should I continue this? It was kind of off the top of my head, so I'm not sure if you'll like it. If you do, let me know so I'll know to keep working on it!