The Way It Goes (S.M.)

2

half way through the concert

"Hey guys i want to share something really fast before this song" ohh god it was time. Yesss go shawn.

"So it started when i was like 14 and started high school, i would get bullied a lot in my middle school and it really didn't change my freshman year. Some kids would hurt me like physically, mentally... emotionally. One day i was walking in the halls and the huge group of kids came up to me. I got shoved around, hard, names were being called and punches were connecting, girls even laughed and said stuff, it was their source of entertainment. I was frozen, i couldn't do anything, i remember my breathing get harder but i think i passed out." he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I woke up at home, with my parents concerned at the doorway, i didn't tell them about it yet. I told them not to worry and they left. I fell asleep feeling tired and woke up from a nightmare feeling like i could die at like 3 am, i walked to the restroom and found some prescription pills" he stops "ughhhh this is hard, well i uhm, i attempted suicide, luckily i couldn't even do that right so my parents found me like 2 hours later laying on the bathroom floor. I was rushed to the hospital where i spent several days finally leaving after a week, diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had to see a therapist  for a while, until i agreed to just talk to my parents about it, i went to sit down with my dad and he told me 'shawn i don't know what you're going through but there's so much life ahead of you, and it won't slow down, no matter what you do so just hold on' that's what hold on was based upon" he stops and breathes, "of course no one knew that because the depression is better now, although there are some days, woow its getting hard to breathe uhm, i-i get anxiety attacks in big crowds and if i feel t-triggers, and my team has been very great on helping me cope with this and keep it a secret i really wanted to tell you guys b-but" he stops, closes his eyes and breathes for a while, "i really di-did want you g-guys to know but i-i..... I" he turned around slowly and our eyes met. He couldn't finish. OHH GOD HE'S GONNA PASS OUT. It happens all the time when he gets exhausted like that. I look at jake his security and nod. I take off running towards him. As i got closer i noticed tears in his red puffy eyes, his chest was breathing rigidly. Uhh and i couldn't notice that from a distance wow blind people problems. When i got to him he collapsed in my arms. I cradled him and noticed jake was following towards us.
"Want me to carry him out jasmin??"
"No no its fine ill support him over there, just go get his cube and leo"
"Okay"

I look back down at shawn who wasn't passed out. Great.

"I-i can't feel my l-l-legs"

"Its okay babe, we've been here before you're fine, just calm your breathing" that really needed to lower, i didn't want him to hyperventilate himself. He calmed down and we stood up. I put my arms around his waist for support when i felt his knees buckle and we started walking slowly. The whole crowd was silent still.  We reached backstage and jake was there with the cube and leo. Shawn sat down on the couch and started fidgeting the cube.

"They're gonna hate me, they're not gonna support me anymore t-they're gonna judge me, this w-was my worst ni-nightmare" he said starting to panic.

"No baby they're gonna love you. They're not like that. Trust me. I spent a while behind the screen. They love you unconditionally"
He looked at me and smiled. I returned the favor. I stood up and went over to andrew and jake.

"Hey guys uhm ima go say something really fast, please please please watch him"
They agreed and i went up to the stage. I went over to the microphone and taped it. Everyone's head turned.

"Uhm hey guys, i just wanted to finish off for shawn. He really was just going to say that he didn't want to feel judged. He didn't want you guys to look or treat him any different than before. And if he feels better he should be out here in a few minutes, but if you guys could just do that for him i would love it." i was about to walk away already when i got a great idea.
"Ohh i know. You guys can go on instagram, twitter, and like any social platform and post pictures or comment on his most recent pictures a cool hashtag. And you bet your sweet bippity and Ima join in"  i pull out my phone post a picture from a fan account ,which shawn doesnt know i have hehehe, and tag him using then caption #wedontjudge.  I left the mic back on the stand and ran off.