Love Hate Relationship

Chapter 14

I prepared a speech for the memorial. I don't want to practice because I'll start crying. I don't want anyone but Ashton to hear it.

I hope he can see me right now. I hope he's pointing me out to other people in heaven saying, "Look, that's my girlfriend."

That thought alone keeps me going.

I walk up to Calum's house and ring the doorbell.

It's 11:30 and it starts at 12.

Calum opens the door, looking momentarily stunned.

"Yeah, I know. Dresses aren't my thing." I say.

"No, you look beautiful." he says.

"Thank you, you look nice too." I decided to wear a black lacey dress and high heels. Big mistake.

Calum's wearing a black dress shirt and pants.

"Let's go." I say quietly.

A look of grief washes over his face as he looks at me.

"He would've wanted you to wear that outfit." Calum says suddenly.

I blink, stunned by his words. I wipe away a tear before it rolls down my cheek.

"Thank you." I say, my voice thick with emotion.

I get in his car and we pull out of the bumpy drive way before speeding off.

•••

"I have known Ashton since the beggining of school. You could trust him with your deepest secrets. I got to know him better when he saved my life. I would sleep better at night knowing I did the same thing for him. We had so much in common. He was so full of life, so excited for the newest adventure. He was protective and trustworthy; The kind of person to win a medal for his personality. His laugh was the reason I woke up every morning. My last words to him were, 'I love you.' I will never go back on that. If I knew him, he would want us to be sad, but not to waste our lives. He would want us to get out there and chase the stars. And when we are ready to be with him," I pause, trying not to cry, "he would hold our hand every step of the way. He would watch over us. In fact, right now, I bet he's pointing us out. I bet he's saying: 'Look at all the people I love, gathered in one place. It's hard to fit all those people in one place.' He would look down and smile and say, 'See her, that's my mom. See that guy over there, my dad. And do you see that girl up at the podium? That's my girlfriend. Right now she's telling them to be strong. To live their lives. To never run away from their passions.' Thank you." I run off the small stage as the tears stream down my face.

There's an eruption of applause.

Calum puts his arm around my shoulders.

"That was beautiful." he says. A single tear falls down his cheek as he smiles weakly.

I hold my breath to keep from crying as others give speeches.

After ever single one, Calum leans down and wispers, "Not as good as yours."

I couldn't help but smile, even though it wasn't true.

•••

Ashton's parents invited me to their house to take a few things off their hands. I don't really feel comfortable having something of Ashton's, but they insisted.

Calum pulls into their driveway.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go in with you?" he asks.

I nod and wipe away a stray tear. My heels click against the stone path leading up to their front door. I knock and it swings open.

"Thank you for coming, again. We found something we wanted to give to you." Mrs. Irwin says.