Love Hate Relationship

Chapter 16

I walk as fast as I can to the bathroom. I lock myself in a stall and close the toilet seat. I sit and hug my knees to my chest. I let go of a breath that I was holding and let it out.

"Sydney?" Charlie's voice echos in the empty bathroom.

"Yeah?" My voice doesn't even sound like I've been crying.

"Where is Ashton?" she asks.

"He's sick, I don't know?" I respond. I'm really pissed for no reason.

I unlock the door and wash my hands.

"So what were you talking about earlier?" she asks, leaning against the wall.

"Why would you care?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" she looks genuinely confused.

"Just...please stop calling me all those names."

"Like what?"

"Loser, bitch, stupid, dumb. Those names."

"You know I'm just joking, right?"

"Well how come it never feels like it? How come it hurts?" I ask.

She falls silent for a while. I walk out of the bathroom and she chases after me.

"What happend to you? Why are you going off on me?" she asks.

"Goddammit, Charlie! Someone died because of me! Can't you see, Ashton isn't sick, my mom started drinking, you're moving on!" I shout. The empty corridors echo with my voice. It's full of anger and pain.

"Sydney." she says softly.

She makes a feeble attempt to hug me.

"Please, save your breath and don't apologize. I don't want your pity." I say.

I storm away from her, but she's so fucking persistent.

I walk back into the cafeteria, but I don't go to the table. I find Calum and walk over to him.

"Where are you going? The table's over here!" Charlie says, tugging my arm.

I look her straight in the eyes, "Change is ok. Go hang out with your internet friend. I'm sure you'll be just fine without me. It's ok, really. I can manage."

She stares at me, dumbfounded. She stays the same as I yank my arm away and sit next to Calum.

I wave goodbye to her. She just walks back to the table. She seems like a burden has been lifted off her shoulders.

"Hey, you ok?" he asks. I shake my head.

"I just told my best friend that she can go on without me. What the hell am I doing?" I wisper.

"Go tell her." he says, nudging me.

"No...she sees relieved. I wouldn't want her to experience the pain of having me as a friend again. Although, I don't think we were ever friends."

I haven't taken my eyes off of the table. They laugh and talk and eat without me. I don't feel as sad as I thought I would.

"They miss you." he says.

I look back over and realize Luke replaced me so quickly.

"No they don't. They didn't know me."

"Did they mention him? Is that why your acting like this?"

I bite my lip and blink back the tears. I get up and walk back over to them.

"I'm sorry Charlie. I should've told you in the first place." I say.