Dumb Whore

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"Anne get up!" I heard Alice yell and rip the pillow my head was laying on, out from underneath me

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"Anne get up!" I heard Alice yell and rip the pillow my head was laying on, out from underneath me.

I groaned, "what Alice?"

"What's going on with you and Marlene?" Alice asked curiously.

"Did you really wake me up on a Saturday, to ask me that?" I asked rolling over to go back to sleep.

She hit me with a pillow making me sit up to look at her, "Seriously!  Marlene went to bed early to avoid you, then this morning when she woke up she glared at your back for a good thirty minutes before getting up and going to the bathroom to try and flush your toothbrush down the toliet."

I looked at her with wide eyes, "she did what?"

Alice waved me off, "don't worry Lily threw it away and I have an unopened spare in my trunk, now back to my question.  What happened?"

"She was teasing me about Remus, and I lost it and told her that Sirius will never consider her more than a good snog, then she called me a bitch and stormed off," I said standing up and stretching, " She's been a real nuisance since we've gotten back."

Alice hopped off my bed and made her way to her trunk, "I blame hormones."

"Definitely hormones," I agreed.

"Speaking of hormones," Alice said shuffling through her trunk, "you were out late with Remus last night and you weren't scheduled for perfect rounds so..."

She looked up and wiggled her eyebrows, "pray tell... what were you doing?"

I threw a shoe at her, "Get your mind out the gutter Alice, it was business related."

Alice snorted, "is that what kids call it now?  Business?"

"Marauder related Business Alice!" I said smacking my forehead.

Her eyes widened, "Marauder related?  Is that code for Sirius and Remus at the same time cause if it is then it totally make sense why Marlene is ignoring you."

"Knock it off Alice!" I said fingering my wand.

Alice raises her hands in defeat, "okay, okay, I'm done now I promise."

I nodded in satisfaction and put my wand back in my pocket.

"Come on, oh narrow minded one, we must make our appearance," I declared and marched out the door and down the stairs.

As I appeared in the common room, I felt my temper flare up.

The marauders were all sat in their usual sofas, but one thing blatantly stood out to me.

I heard a small groan from Alice behind me and her hands resting on my shoulders to prevent me from doing anything rash.

"That Bitch," I growled angrily as I witnessed Marlene perched on the arm of the couch next to Remus rubbing his arm and fawning over him.

Remus you could tell was obviously uncomfortable, as every five seconds he would pull at his collar and glance at his friends for help.

The marauders however pretended not to notice, probably for the very reason that they wanted to see Anne pound Marlene's skull in.

Alice rubbed Anne's shoulders and muttered, "two deep breaths and then walk over with a calm and rational aura."

I did as told and then stood tall as I walked over to our couches making my presence known.

Remus shot up pulling away from Marlene exclaiming, "Anne!" In a desperate tone.

"Remmy!" I greeted cheerfully.

"Marlene here was asking Remus for extra private tutoring lessons," Sirius spoke up grinning at the thought of a cat fight.

Remus spoke up, "but I told her you are a much better tutor than I am."

I nodded and looked over at Marlene's smug grin, "Marls?"

"Yes Anne?" She asked innocently.

"Go be a dumb whore somewhere else," I stated firmly watching her jaw drop.

She stood up swiftly and ran out the room in embarrassment as the marauders howled with laughter.

Once we all calmed down Alice left to go hang out with Frank Longbottom and I sat down.

"Thanks Anne," Remus muttered to me, "she was getting to be a real bother."

I waved him off, "Don't mention it!  It was a joy to get rid of her, I did it for purely selfish reasons."

"Sorry for how I acted last night, it's just you all are my best friends and I can't stand the thought of you doing something so dangerous just to make my life a tad bit easier," Remus apologized.

I laid my head on his shoulder, "you don't need to apologize Remmy, you were just looking out for me.  Which is why I want to do this."

Remus sighed and then said a little louder so the guys would hear, "Are you all absolutely sure you want to help me with my... little problem."

"What little problem?" Peter asked dumbly.

Sirius looked at him incredulously, "his furry little problem dumbass."

James perked up, "I'm so using that phrase from now on!"

"Really James?  Isn't that a little to obvious?" Remus asked annoyed. 

"Not really for all anyone else would know I could be talking about the hair on my testi..."

"Sister in vicinity!! Please keep it clean!" I yelled covering my ears.

"Be serious guy..." Remus said rubbing his forehead in aggravation.

"I am Sirius."

"Sirius it wasn't funny the first hundred times, it isn't funny now," James sassed.

"In all S..." James started but stopped when he saw Sirius open his mouth, "Realness, we want to do this Remus!  You are our best friend and we would go to the ends of the Earth for you."

Remus sighed, "Okay. If you are 100% sure you want to do this then I know I can't stop you."

"Ya damn right," Sirius said crossing his arms and nodding.

"Alright lads!" James started and I coughed, "and lady.  Let's become animagus!"

"Oh this is about Remus being a werewolf!" Peter exclaimed with wide eyes.

"A little late there Pete," I said patting his head sympathetically.

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