ONLY YOU. || Erwin Smith X Reader

Time is Fast

Missing my lover.

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"I'm sorry, Miss (F/N)." The Survey Corps' official doctor said, with a tone of sadness.

"You've been diagnosed with Tuberculosis. Y'see, the reason why you get night sweats and huge weight loss? It was because of——"

————————————————————————————As the doctor speaks, I hear the ringing of a high-pitched sustained squeal in my ears. The piercing sound, blurring out the doctor's words.

Why. Why and how did this happen to me?

"——It is only mild, like a tiny bit. But I'm very sad to say it will get worse in a moment before you even know it. Especially on such a weather we have right now, All I can say——"

——————————————————————————Pain started to ball in my chest. It's paining so much. My breathing pattern slowed down by shaky breaths.

I can't. I can't tell them I have a sickness. I have a weakness, why now?

"——Now, if you could take this medications, the casualties can go lesser than ever." The doctor finished speaking, I smiled at the doctor. "Thank you, Doctor. I will take the medicines. And also, one last request,, Doctor." I said, taking the medicines, then saying one last request.

"Please do not speak a word of this consultation we just had to any of our men, women, and alike. No need to tell Commander Keith, I can say it myself. But never speak of this to your other superiors as well. That is an order from me as a Corporal. I'm then going to pay you fairly." I set a right amount of money in a small sack on his desk. "Thanks again, Please work hard like the usual." I said, bidding a goodbye. I stepped outside of the clinic. "I will get better. I will be healthier than ever." I tried to calm myself down. I took deep breaths, before walking back to my office.

I successfully sneaked back into HQ, hurrying quickly to get back to my office.

All I gotta do now is just sneak back to my office and apologize to Hanji, right?

You're fine, (F/N). You're fine.

Finally, I've reached my office. I locked the door behind me. I stretched on my comfortable office chair, going to.. sign some letters regarding about some of the fallen soldiers today.

They all did well. They aren't in vain.

As I tried to reach for my feather pen, I felt like my throat was choking myself. I started coughing, covering my mouth. I couldn't stop coughing, no matter how much I try to settle down, It gets worse. I thanked the heavens for the endless coughing to finally end, I removed my hand from my mouth. My eyes widen in fear.

Shit. It really is getting worse in less than a moment.

Crimson red, painted my right palm with a rusty smell. Some of the blood seeped into the nooks and cranny im between my fingers. Exhaling in fear, I quickly went to my own lavatory and wash my palm. I then gurgled a cup of water and spat it out in the sink. Blood mixed in water drains down the sink, Gulping to myself at how disgusting it looked. I looked at the mirror that hangs in-front of me. I wiped some blood off that dripped down my chin by a nearby towel. I hid all the evidence that could lead to my sickness.

Oh, Right! Apology time.

I then walked out the door as I locked my office.

I walk through the busy halls of the headquarters of the Survey Corps, in search of Hanji. I figured she'd be at the mess hall since she always goes there early to check out the food before giving them to the cadets and all. Cadets here and there, clearly traumatized about what kind of hell they've seen out there for today.

I brushed off the thought as I make a turn and get into the mess hall. I swung the huge doors open as I began my search for Hanji.

I don't even know how long has it been since that chaos between me and the three of them.. Probably a few years and a bit of months back, I can't keep track of the time;; It's going too fast to catch up on.

After all, I am still very guilty about what happened. I never felt so much sorrow. If only I could wish my fucked up parents just die in that pig hole they got there.

Marleyans just won't stop.

I really do hope this damn Marley-Eldian banter ends in chaotic peace, Even though the case of it has ended years ago, too. They still hate my father, of course.

I approached a long horizontal window, as it sides the kitchen inside. I went to look for Hanji, it was a sea of wings blue and white in there. I sighed, knocking on the kitchen door before entering.

I stepped inside, some cadets found me right behind the closing door. "Excuse me cadets, I would like to call in Squad Control Hanji Zöe." I said out loud, the cadets in the kitchen whispering, until one cadet called out. "Squad Control Hanji is over here!" They waved, literally right beside Hanji.

I nodded, heading over to them in a bit. Avoiding a few kids getting distracted from me, I finally got to them. "I thank you, Cadet. Name?" I asked at a man who seems to be the same age as Hanji's.

"I-It is Moblit Berner, Ma'am." He stuttered. "I've been hearing a lot about you. 'Very good to have you in the Corps. Now get back to work." I smiled slightly. "Yes, Ma'am!!" He saluted, then getting back to work. And then,, I looked at Hanji, avoiding my gaze as she works with writing on a checklist clipped to her usual clipboard through the years.

"Hanji, can I borrow you for a minute?" I asked nicely. Hanji sighing, "Cadet Berner, I'll be back. Just keep track of the tasks today." She said, Moblit nodding. We both went out of the kitchen.

Time sure is fast.