...I miss you

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

11/ 6 Thursday

No matter how cruel the world becomes, love should never be cruel.

I close my eyes and  turn to sleep on my right side. ‘Where is he?’ I bite my lip. No! I am not going to think about him. I sigh deeply. I already made up my mind. He is my past! I have to let it go.

I turn to the my left side. But is not that easy. I shouldn’t feel anything for him yet I do. I should be scared of him but I am not. Despite its pretty clear he is trying (really hard!) to have me killed, something inside me refuses to believe it. Something inside me (everything inside me) still misses him.

The sun is up and once more I haven’t been able to sleep. I go downstairs sloppily, the smell of bacon is calling me.

"What's wrong?"Joy is staring at me

Of course, "Nothing" is my answer. But she is Joy so I already know that nothing is not good enough for her.

"Fine, well. If you knew that someone doesn't like you, like at all, like because you wrong them, really badly. But you are stupid and for a strange reason that you can't begin to understand, somehow you kind of, but not really miss that person when is not... around because like you have a past right so...”

“Have you sleep with someone?” wait? what?

“What?” I ask her scared. Her stare is inquisitive, her jet black hair falling to the sides of her face makes her look deathly.  

"Eat your breakfast, we have training to do!"

"What ? training, but I already do TKD, my body is exhausted"

"There are non physical ways to train as well"

This is so unfair!

“Don’t you have school today?”

“Yes mam” I said defeated, Joy is only five years older than me, but she outranks me in so many ways, is depressing  

So now I train TKD, every morning, and as soon as she comes back from work and all the way to dinner-time I also do this 'non physical' training that is extremely physical, and even more exhausting. But since we started it I have been sleeping better and gaining some weight. And she thinks that is the reason, and that is fine; if she knew that the only reason I lost that weight on the first place was because I had a knot in my throat that wouldn’t let me eat since our last close encounter with dead, she would probably kill me with her own hands. After all, wasn't that same encounter (and my weakness) the reason she almost loses her life?

I shake my head, today is friday! and I will spend the entire weekend with my friends, we have planned a trip to Galveston, and for the first time, and because everything has been so calm, I don’t have to have my bodyguards following me like shadows. They still have to be there though, but far enough that I don’t even get to notice them.

After training I go to bed, today has been a normal day. This past two weeks have been normal, good! Enjoying my busy days, having to train, going to school, doing my homework and studying the tower of books that Joy left for me to read while she is at work.

As I lay on my bed, ready to close my eyes, like every night, I pray for my mother, hoping there is a heaven and she is there happily looking at me.

I open my eyes and I am in my family’s summer house near Kyoto, Japan. It is a beautiful end-of-spring day, the sakura (cherry in blossom) tree is losing its flowers on top of me, I am laying comfortably on the green grass, the wind caresses my skin slowly, the haruhi (spring sunshine) bathes me.