I Didn't Mean To Make You Mine (boyxboy)

Chapter 36

Some people ignore the little things that are often within their sight but once those little things disappeared they leave bigger impact....

(Let's bring them back to square one shall we?)

Kit is back to the university, he will be graduating soon, well him and Beam.

Beam is not used on Kit being too quiet. He rarely talk this days. He is staring on things while thinking deeply.
Kit didn't go back to the Hospital. While Beam is keeping him update, informations he got from Phana.

"Are you sure you are not going to see him before P'Forth check him out the Hospital?" Beam asked four days  after Kit walked out Mingkwan's hospital room.

Kit change the channel repeatedly, pretending he didn't heard what Beam said.

"Kit.."

Kit turned up the volume ignoring Beam completely.

Beam chucked the remote from Kit's grab annoyed, then turn off the TV and throw the remote away.

"What the fuck Kit!, stop pretending that it is fine ..that you are fucking fine when obviously you are not!" Beam almost yelled as he hold on to Kit's shoulder, shaking him lightly.

"And what the fuck you are expecting me to do huh?! Strut in there and tell him hey I am your forgotten lover you son of a bitch'?, don't act like you know what I'm feeling Beam because you have no fucking idea what and how it is to be made you fall then suddenly you are forgotten just like that... Like you are nothing!" Kit shove Beam away from him as he stood up and turn to get in his room.

"You are right! I don't! But I'm not blind, I can still see you moping around like the world is a sad place to live in.. Walking around with that dark clouds over your head and you think im that stupid? you know what I'm expecting you to do?! To fucking walk in there and slap on his face who are you in his stupid life..you are telling me that you are forgotten like it is on purpose...he had an accident for uncle Pete sake!." Beam raise his hands in frustration.

Kit looked back at Beam. His voice cracked as he desperately bite back the lump on his throat.
"And that's the most painful thing Beam...when you thought you are special....and then ..but then you are not...I'm trying to give reason why does I'm the only one he forgot, not his parents that are not so nice to him or even you..but why me?, after making me fall for him? That's unfair, too unfair!" Kit covered his eyes using his palm gesturing on Beam not to get any closer. He entered his room, leaning against the closed door, breathing deeply.

Beam was left staring at the closed door sighing. He massage his nape in anger, why love is too complicated? He shook his head telling himself he won't be like that ever.

Mingkwan's wheelchair was pushed by Forth out the hospital. The media was blocked by the securities to ensure that they stayed out of the way.

Forth help him up and inside the car. Mingkwan is silently gazing outside the car. While he was bored out of his mind on his hospital room, he search his name in the internet maybe found out what happened to him on the span of four months and he found out the things about Kit, the apparently his adventure with him and him admitting for the world to hear that they are lovers.

Mingkwan is staring on nothing trying to remember Kit, why out of all people he forgot about him? He saved the pictures of them he found on the net. Maybe by seeing them he will recall something.
Mingkwan remembered the looked Kit gave him. Those hurt eyes.

"What are you thinking?" Forth asked his cousin who've been quiet ever since they left the hospital.

"I'm just thinking." Mingkwan replied. He rest his chin over his closed fist.

"About what?"

"P', what is my relationship with Kit Intochar?"

Forth glance at his cousin before staring ahead." The truth is I don't know, all I know is that you two have a special connection... You have to ask him to know what's the answer for your questions. "Forth said.

"Have you seen him? He looked so mad at me....I wanted to know badly what is he to me.."

I wanted to know why am I feeling this empty..why he was expecting him to come and see him..that his eyes will unconsciously watch the door..like he is expecting someone....

"There are things that maybe only you two can tell but because you can't do it for now, its only Kit who can answer you."

"I wanted to asked him but I don't know how."

The car was enveloped by silence as Mingkwan was lost in thought.

Well kit even wanted to talk? Then what is he gonna tell him?

Just months ago, he know he's straight and now he had a relationship with a guy?
What is so special with that guy?

The cousins reach Mingkwan's place before they know it.

"Are you sure you don't need a private nurse?." Forth asked for the hundred time.

"I'm more than sure, jeez you've been asking me that repeatedly P'  Mingkwan, fortunately is recovering fast. He can move around slowly, just not much because he can't strained himself too much.

Forth left after making sure Mingkwan don't need anything anymore.

Mingkwan looked around his place. Nothing change, its the same..no addition ..no misplace things just same old house. What is he expecting anyway?

He slowly stood up holding his stomach as he go to his home office.

He sat down on his swivel chair swaying it gently. Grabbing one document reading it quietly.

Updates on DDC's development projects. So the project is its final stage. Skimming on the papers on his table, Mingkwan realized that he have to familiarize himself again on the more than midway projects of their company.

Mingkwan leaned back his swivel chair staring on the ceiling as he sway his chair. Like the ceiling contains all the answers to his questions.

He pulled out his phone that surprisingly stayed unharmed from the accident. The officer said that Kit Intochar was in the phone before and after he lost consciousness.

Sighing painfully, Mingkwan navigate his battered body out his office and decided to rest on his room, telling the his household helper that he is not hungry.

Ming fall asleep with many questions running g inside his mind.

Who are you?
Why even I can't remember my mind seems to know you..
My heart seems to recognized you....

Who are you to me?