I Didn't Mean To Make You Mine (boyxboy)

Chapter 44

(Cr: on the pix..tnx)

Memories can be sweet, it can be painful, it can be something we love but we hate to remember.

Mingkwan's birthday, Fane's death anniversary....

Is a birthday worth celebrating when its a reminder of the death of someone you love so much?
Mingkwan always tried forgetting his birthday, as much as possible he would do anything to forget that day.

Because that date always brings back bad memories. The happiest moment of his life that been washed down by tears, sorrow and pains. The day that his mother always reminded him..he Killed Fane. How can a child accept something he wouldn't understand? How can a child forget when it is always being reminded to him like an alarm?

So Mingkwan don't celebrate his life because he felt like he is celebrating Fane's death.

The vague memory of Fane on Mingkwan's mind is not as clear as before. Maybe time is fading it away even he wanted to hold on it badly.  He wanted to remember the person who loved him unconditionally, he wanted to carve Fane's face on his heart. But Mingkwan got tired of thinking of his brother as the teen's memory will be always tinted by guilt.
Why he didn't shout louder that day? Why he didn't roll down the hill to asked for help? Why he stayed and watched his brother bleed to death?

Mingkwan should have forgot about those when he was only seven, how can he still remember  it vividly when it happened when he was a child? Because it was reminded to him every single birthday he had, every time the moment he was born arrived..is the moment Fane left.

Mingkwan is awake for sometime now but he is lying on his bed lazily. He checked the time on his phone and realized its only seven in the morning.

Happy birthday Ming.....I'm sorry P'Fane....

His ringtone alarmed telling him he received a text. Opening the icon without energy Mingkwan froze.

Happy Birthday son - mom&dad

A bitter smile appeared on Mingkwan's lips. Should he feel happy?

Ah, when was the last time his parents greeted him? He can't remember.. A pang of happiness bubbled in his heart. Is he getting soft? His finger hover on the delete icon but he can't force his finger to press it. Like he wanted to preserved that simple text.

He got up from bed throwing the phone to the side. In the end of the day he is still a son waiting for his parent's acknowledgement. He can't let it go no matter how painful it cause him.

He is pathetic.

Mingkwan took a cold shower to numbed his senses. Feeling better after the bath, Mingkwan prepared for the day. After dressing up on white long sleeved polo and jeans he picked up his phone and walked out his room. He checked his phone for messages, nothing. He maybe expecting Kit to greet him today or maybe call him, he shook his head and remind himself that maybe the younger boy is still asleep right now.

Ming meet Lila on the landing waiting for him with a smile.
"Happy Birthday." The woman who've been with Ming since forever hugged him just like how she embraced him all the time.