Bailamos? | Mark Owen [Take That]

Chapter 39

First thing that crossed my mind when I woke up in the morning was that everything had been a dream. One of those dreams that’s so real you’ve got to stop and think about whether it really happened the next morning. Mark resting beside me? It couldn't be anything but a dream. The most beautiful dream I had ever had.

I looked at my alarm clock - it was almost 8 am. If I was going to rehearsals, I should start getting up, I thought at the same moment in which I felt someone wrapping their hand round my waist.

"Morning sleepy beauty..." his sleepy voice whispered into my ear, making me catch my breath as I felt his warmth on my neck "How did you sleep?"

"Great..." I smiled and turned round to face him. It was true... Mark was there, resting by my side, glancing at me through a lock of hair with his green dreamy eyes as he pulled me closer to him "How did you sleep?"

"Hmmmhmmm..." he pressed his lips on my cheek, still with his eyes closed, making me giggle.

"I'll take that as a positive answer..." I whispered. God, he was there with me...

"Yeh..." he smiled "What time is it?"

"Eight o'clock" I replied "We should start getting ready---"

"What for?"

"Rehearsals..."

"No..." he shook his head and pouted.

"Why not?" I chuckled "We got rehearsals today, don't we...?"

"Nope... today is the day in which Mark cuddles all day with Aimee... without rehearsals..."

"Get off...!" I laughed "You telling me that we're gonna miss rehearsals? I can't do that, I got to learn lots of---"

"I'll give you private lessons..." he teased getting his lips closer to mine and I pushed him away, laughing.

"Yeh, right... then those girls are gunna say I've got privileges---"

"Well, that's true... none of them get to sleep with the Owen..."

"Sure, with the clothes on you mean..." I laughed and sat up on the bed, trying to tidy my ruffled curly hair as Mark gasped "What?"

"You're trying to say I'm a tart?"

"Tsssssk!" I rolled my eyes and looked at him over my shoulder as I put my trainers on "I'm just saying that not all girls are like me.... I mean, who manages to spend the night sleeping in the same bed as you, with all their clothes on?"

"Yeh, you're right---" he nodded looking quite arrogant.

"I can't believe you!" I snapped. Who did he think he was for heaven's sake!? Oh, right...

"Teeeeeeeasiiiiiing...." he pulled me backwards on the bed and rested on top of me "Gawd I love teasing you..."

"Yeh yeh yeh..." I tried to keep a serious look but I just couldn't help smiling - happiness was spread all inside me and I thought my heart was jumping for joy.

How good it was to have Mark there with me, looking as perfect as always, behaving in the most appropriate way one man could behave. I was the luckiest woman alive, and I thought that nothing could ruin that day.

"You're so beautiful..." Mark caressed my cheek softly "I promise I'll take care of you, luv, for the rest of our lives--- I'll be here with you... nothing bad's gonna ever happen again..."

"Oh Mark..." I sighed and bit my lip. He was so perfect to be true.

"Liz didn't mean any harm... She just wants the best for you and---"

 "Excuse me? What do you mean by that?"

"She told me about--- what happened, when you were young..." Mark said softly, almost doubtfully "I insisted because I wanted to know how to help you and---"

"What did she tell you?" I pushed him away, already feeling how my eyes were misting over.

She couldn't have--- she just couldn't have told Mark the truth... and if she had, why was Mark still not naming me? Why was he still not making any reference to our night out back in the days? Mark had just said that he knew the truth--- but what truth was it that he knew?

"She told me about--- the abortion..." he sighed and looked at me feeling uneasy. No way did Mark know the truth. He didn't know the awful truth I was hiding from him... "You were young, you had a whole life ahead... I understand that but--- I still don't get it..." he shook his head "Why didn't you tell him?"

"Why would I?"

"Because... perhaps he wanted to know... I mean, he was the father---"

"An absent father..." I added coldly.

"If it had happened to me, I would've liked to know about that baby---" he snapped and I froze "He had every right to know that he was going to have a child, I don't know... I would've hated it probably, if it had happened to me---"

"Yeah, right..." I sniffed "And what would have you done about it?"

"I dunno... I guess--- would've come back for you or summat---" he said innocently, not really knowing what he had just done.

****

"For fuck's sake leave me alone, Liz!" I shouted at her with tears in my eyes. It hurt so much, it hurt both my heart and body.

"Let me help you--- let me take you to---" she trailed off desperately but I didn't want to hear anything.

"NO!" I replied, my voice strangled as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was so awful... what I did was so bad...

"Angie...!" she knocked on the bathroom door harder than before "Open up...!"

"GO, LIZ! JUST GO!" I yelled at her and looked down at my wrist as I held firmly the razor in my other hand.

"Don't do anything stupid, Angie---" Liz said in between tears "That's not the way to solve things, Angie..."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted again "YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I FEEL!"

"I don't, okay? I don't fucking know what you feel but I know you're not doing the right thing!"

"I KILLED IT, LIZ! I KILLED MY BABY!" I sobbed uncontrollably.

"You did what you had to do..."

"I killed Mark's baby--- our baby... There's no forgiveness for what I've done..." I sighed and closed my eyes as I pressed the razor against my wrist, feeling the cold sharp blade cutting my skin deep down.

"ANGIE!" Liz knocked on the door "ANGIE TALK TO ME! ANGIE TALK TO ME FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

I sat against the bathtub in silence, watching how the blood ran along my arm and fell to my feet in little red drops. It was the best thing to do, how would I carry on living if I had murdered my very own child?

"ANGIE!" I heard Liz's voice calling my name and I closed my eyes to think of Mark standing in front of me. He had whispered into my ear that he would always remember me, seconds before I would turn round not to ever see him again. 

"I will always remember you too..." I said softly and smiled at the memory of Mark as I slowly drifted away.