In love with my assassin

I'll save you

Dave's pov

"I'm sorry" I whisper into Karkat's ear.

"For what? Being you or scaring me?"

"Both"

"Don't apologize for being you, Dave" He then turns around so his face is in my chest. He nuzzles into it farther as I pet hair. I feel a weird vibration, is that my phone? No, my phone is in my back pocket. HOLY SHIT IS HE PURRING?! That's so..... adorable.

"Kitkat, that's cute."

"Shut up!"

"No.. Kitten purrs... Who does?? You do... Awee"

"People are staring and I will kick you in your weird human dick. Let me go!"

"Nah.."

"David, what are you doing to that poor boy?" I let go of Karkat and turn around to see a very angry Roxy

"H... Hi Roxy.."

"Hello, Dave. Now, what were you doing to that poor boy?!"

"Hugging him" She growls and gets closer to me. Face to face, if we move one more centimeter then we would be kissing. Ew..

"I find that hard to believe..."

"I-it's true.." I turn to Mr. Grouch who is clinging to the back of my shirt.

"Hm.... Okay then! Ta ta~!"

"Who was that?'

"My "Mother" She can be really weird." He nodded as we went to get some food. Lunch was well after the whole fiasco. Me and Karkat got to know each other more and he introduced me to some trolls and humans. Rose and this troll named Kanaya took a real good liking to each other. I also became good friends with this troll named Aradia, I also got her number. Strider has hoes man. I've got me some hoes.

(Italics: John
Bold: Dave Strider the dick rider)

hey!

hey dude whats up

your lack of punctuation apparently

'harsh man hrash'

its not like im insulting your life story so geez lay off

i can go on and on about ways you offend me with your no good use of punctuation, but i wanna carry a conversation so.... tell me about yourself

getting right into it eh

well i used to live with my bro until i was about ten where he kicked me out but invited me into his weird business

what is it?

'Come on David think, think! What did your brother have a fascination with??? Puppets??? Yeah... and what?! Sex. He always craved sex. Not from me thankfully.'

smuppets

smuppets? the hell is that?

sex puppets

ew

yeah

hey man, i gotta go, cya later dave! :B

later bro

I turn off my phone and look back up at the teacher who is right in front of me. "Ah, David. Nice for you to join us! Now please pay attention."

"Do I have to?"

"If you wanna pass... Yeah.."

"Okay.. Let me think about this... Pay attention and I pass... I don't pay attention and I fail... What if I study and get A's on a test?"

"Being a smartass on your first day isn't a good idea Davi-"

"Dave... Just Dave." The teacher just then walked away as my phone rang.

"DAVI-"

"Could I please take this?"

"Go out into the hall and be quick." I walk into the hall and answer the call.

(Normal: David Rider
~ Karkat ~)

"Yolo.."

~Dave..~

"Karks??"

~I just saw someone I wish not to see and he looks like he's going to kill me... can you come to the boy's bathroom?~

"On it" I hang up the phone and tell the teacher it's an emergency then ran out of the class. "I'm on my way Kitkat." As I run down the halls multiple teachers yell at me but I ignore them and run straight into the bathroom.

In front of my eyes I see some dick holding Karkat up by the neck. Funny isn't it? You go from tracking someone down to kill to protecting them. "D-Dave.... Help.." I closed my eyes and nodded. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the same dagger I used to almost kill Karks.

"My Kitkat." The figure soon released him having Karkat hit the ground with a groan of pain.

"WhAt?"

"My. KITKAT!"

"I dOn'T seE yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiN' nAmE oN hIm.."

"I don't see yours either... Now we could handle this two ways. Have Karkat chose whom he wants, or I could hurt you, really, really, badly.

"Dave that's not a go--"

"SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP!" I swear I could hear a slight whimper. "We CaN hAvE hIm ChoOsE wHo He WaNts"

Just then he throws Karkat onto his knees between us. The maniac motions for me to move back a bit. I respectfully did so. Karkat looked back and forth at the both of us. A little worried he would stick with the maniac. "I aLsO wAnNa mAkE sOmEtHiNg cLeAr."

"Proceed.."

"WhO eVeR hE cHoOsEs, ThE oThEr OnE cAn'T tOuCh oR tAlK tO hIm AgAiN."

"Deal." Still worried I see karkat stand up and started to run.