Bullied- a Jenzie story

I don't want to go -44

*WE HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A TIME SKIP ONLY ABOUT 7 DAYS BUT THAT'S STILL ALOT*

Mackenzie's POV (She's back bitches)

I'm out of the hospital, yes everyone is terrified of what has happened to me. Do I blame them? No. Suicide is something you can't blame anyone on. I still think it's my fault, I feel so crazy. John has been coming over a LOT. I missed him, I really did. 

My mom is signing me up for a teen suicide therapy group. It's a grief group and all the teens in the group have attempted suicide. I'm terrified, to say the least. I can't bear to think about what others will think of me after I tell them my story. I know this group is very accepting but I'm still afraid of being the odd one out. On top of that, I'm also doing one on one therapy. My mom is taking it easy on her job too. 

My mom might get fired because they won't allow her to take more time off then she already is. It's scary. I tell her that she should go back to work but she refuses. Oh yeah, I might be doing online school now. I'll miss Johnny and all but I can live without going to school with him.

"Mackenzie" a voice says as a knock is heard on my door.

"Come in" I whisper, I'm in bed just looking out my window.

"Hi" Johnny has the biggest grin I've ever seen him have. He has black skinny jeans and a yellow sweatshirt on. His hair is slightly messy.

"What are you planning?" I ask, not really having any joy in my voice. It's hard to get out of a tunnel, it feels like there's no light at the end of it.

"I missed you" he says genuinely, he comes into my bed, lying next to me. "So how's your day going?" he asks

I would answer truthfully, but I know he probably wants to hear something good. "Good" I smile fakely at him. 

He hugs me so tight, I can barely breathe. 

"I Love you," he says out of the blue. 

"I-I Love you too" I stumble on words as I hug him, refusing to let the tears fall out. 

"Baby no, don't cry," he says, looking down at my face.

"Johnny, I'm sorry" I get out of his grip and sit on the bed, he mirrors me.

"Mackenzie, it's alright," he says in a gentle tone, being sweeter than ever before.

"N-No, it's not John, I'm obviously not okay"

"Kenzie-"

"no," I say stopping him from speaking any further. "Just let me apologize, please" I beg him, he nods.

"Fine." he sighs "Apology accepted." he takes my hands in his and smiles. 

"Don't you have to go to school?" I ask him, remembering it's a Wednesday. 

"I'm not going today" he smiles, "I somehow convinced my mom." he shrugs. 

"John, you really didn't-" he cuts me off by kissing me. what a fucking cliche boy, eh this is what the story is anyways, right? wait wut.. a-KNEE-ways, Automatically, I feel calmed down. He knows how to make me shut up.

"Kenz, I want to be with you every step of the way. I want to be here with you, a-and not lose you like I did last time" he gives me a half-hearted type of smile.

"John" I sigh, smiling, putting my head in my hands. "You are too perfect, it's almost overwhelming" I laugh, looking up at him.

"Don't be overwhelmed, Kenz. I just want to be here for you and want to make you feel relaxed and feel g-" I cut him off by kissing him like he did to me before.