Returning Red

#21: Careful.

saw your worst and I stayed

Isabella

We cling to music, poems, quotes, writing, and art because we desperately do not want to be alone. We want to know we aren't going crazy and someone else out there knows exactly how we are feeling. We want someone to explain the things we cannot. People, when we see them, are just as wonderful as sunsets if we let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying "soften the orange a bit on the right-hand corner," because I don't want to control it. I watch it with awe as it unfolds. It's exactly how we need to behave with other people, watch them in awe as they unfold and not try to mess them up by asking them to change. 

I think about this as I stuff my mouth with tart. Breakfast buffets are my favorite spread because they often have everything that completely fills my stomach. They're like the most balanced spread of buffets. 

Although the thought seems very provoking, I find it puzzling to believe that last night was an attempt to change me or remind me of who I was. If the sunset turned green, I'm sure everyone in the world would panic and try to fix it, succumbing to an existential crisis. Was the same thing happening with me too?

"Hey," May made me turn to her as she sat down beside me. She kept her plate of savories in front of her, "Too many people are here and I have to greet everyone, ugh, I need time to eat." 

I chuckle, as I watch her groan looking at her doughnuts. "You do remember this is your wedding right? You can steer it as you want." 

"Exactly," she fake cries, "This is my wedding and I don't even have the wheel to steer it. My manager Emily has taken over everything, including my mind." 

I laugh more as I take another bite of my tart. "With great power comes great responsibility." 

I felt her gaze slowly turning into a death glare. My choice of words and my timing could not have been worse because just as I said it, her manager plopped up beside her with a file in her hand, AirPods on her ears, and a pen balancing itself on top of her ears. Emily was all geared up at 9 am and I loved how seriously she was taking her job. 

"You won't get away with this," May whisper-hissed at me before turning to Emily, again, completely having to sacrifice her delicacies. 

She got busy with Emily and I got immersed in my tart. Strawberry & chocolate tart is by far my newfound favorite dessert. I think there is an edge about strawberries being dipped in chocolate sauce with the biscuit crunches in between having the perfect flavor and taste. 

As I dwell more in my early morning madness, I look at the door ahead of me. Austin Cooper, dressed in denim pants and a plain black shirt, with the top two buttons purposely left undone walks inside. I stare at how delicately the buttons are hanging together, and I fear that with one loud breath he takes in, the buttons might just snap open. He's tapping on his phone, trailing the footsteps of Jason Cody in front of him.

Cody, as I watch him, is also wearing denim pants, but his shirt is grey. The shirt style and the layout are the same as Austin's but the only thing different is the colors. Jason quickly rushes to the buffet row, serving himself as quickly as he can. 

When I woke up for the second time this morning, all four of them were fast asleep. May was asleep on the bed with the empty coffee mug on the side table. Liam and Jason had coffee cups on either of their bedsides too. I remember how I'd climbed out of the couch and grabbed our suite key from May's bag. I searched for my phone until I found it on the study table. I had grabbed it and without making as much as a pin drop of noise, I had managed to sneak out of their suite.