Returning Red

Birthday.

NEW YORK - 4 YEARS AGO

Isabella

"Hey, Katherine. Tomorrow is my birthday. You are spending the entire day with me, I don't care. I know I haven't said this out loud but I want to thank you, Dr. Katherine Carlyle. After a long time, I finally feel like myself again. And as much as you don't like taking credit, you played a major role. I know you have your rules and set of conditions that I have to abide by as a client, but I was hoping you could give me an excuse from all the norms for one day? I want to spend my day with you. I want to thank you for spending six sessions with me to heal me back to myself. I know, I know, I've known you for six days, in six weeks, but it feels like I've known you forever. And because you insisted so much, after spending the day with you, I'm thinking of going back home and visiting my friends. I'd promised them I'd come home after four years of college, at least to visit. I might be able to find my perfect life again if I matter to them more than my mistakes. Dr. Katherine Carlyle, will you go on a BFF date with me?"

I had memorized and practiced this speech the whole of today morning. I was going to tell her at the end of this session. My last session. I wanted to spend the whole day with her. The whole of my birthday. I wanted to talk so much to her. I wanted to know she was proud of me. I wanted to know her opinion on everything in life. I wanted her. 

"Hello?" Grace yelled through the phone and I shivered. "22-year-old Isabella Nicole Cosmo, can you hear me?" 

"Grace," I whisper as I gulp and take another breath. 

She scoffs. "Oh, Lord, who died?" She nonchalantly said and I close my eyes. "Gee, Bella, your enthusiasm actually charged me up." When I don't respond to Grace Cosmo throwing a sarcastic line, I can imagine her frown. "A little excitement won't hurt. I'm serious now." 

"Grace," I say again and she stops talking. "I need your help." 

I sense silence on the other end. She finally speaks, "What's wrong?" 

"It's an emergency. I need money," I say because that's the first thing that pops up in my head. I need to complete this loop before I step into anything further. 

Grace takes a loud breath. "Are you okay? Is--"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure her immediately. At least, physically I am. "It's an emergency. I'll explain everything later, I--I need money." 

"How much?"

I close my eyes. "20 grand." 

"I beg your pardon?" 

"I'll return it. Every penny."

She scoffs. "That's not the problem. What mess are you in?" 

"I'm not--" I bite my lip as tears puddle my eyes. "I--Please, I don't know who else to--"

"I'll need 45 minutes. I need to talk to my manager." She tells me and I immediately sigh. "It's not for the pills or drugs, is it, Bella?" 

"No," I scowl holding my head. "I swear on you, no. I'll explain everything, not now, please," I say and I hear silence on the other end. I know she's overthinking it already. But I don't have time to clear it for her.