Returning Red

#49: Bin By Blood.

we met, I loved, she left

Austin

Liam drives my car into the parking lot of our school field. Jason is busy texting someone on his phone in the middle of the night. I look at the lonely, empty parking lot Liam parks in to take in the school all in at once. 

Liam and May leave for their honeymoon tomorrow evening so we decided to spend the last day before their month-long trip having a lazy night on the school's terrace, our unofficial spot. 

My energies were hampered because right after we came back from the resort, Izz told me she had to go back to New York. She hardly stayed for two days. She left today morning and I haven't been myself since. I don't know if she realized it but today's date is the same as the day she left eight years ago and never planned on returning. 

My heart feels heavy. She didn't tell me a proper goodbye but that's because she isn't going anywhere. She didn't meet eyes with me because she was in a hurry to reach the airport. I could spend only a few conversations with Lily before they took off. 

Lily seemed disheartened. She didn't want to leave and anyone with eyes could've understood that. But she would never deny Izz so I know she left without arguing. I mentally decided to take the next flight after May and Liam leave for their honeymoon tomorrow. The fear of having even the slightest part of what happened eight years repeating is making me lose my grip on everything. 

I get out of my car at the same time both Liam and Jason do. "You guys head upstairs, I'll wait for May." Liam nods at me as he tosses the keys to Jason. 

We nod in unison and begin walking to the school. The night is chilly but not as cold as the winter nights. The summer nights are humid but they carry a breeze that adds the icy part to the night. Everything feels colder without her. I miss her so much, I bet it's written on my face completely. 

"Did you get the message? She landed safely." Jason spoke and that's the first speed change of my heart for the night. I had waited for a message from her to pop on my phone but I hadn't got any. And Jason had to be the one telling me they reached safely. 

"She messaged you?" I pulled my phone to check again. Maybe I missed it with all the stress. 

"Yeah, in the evening. She didn't . . . text you?" His voice was unsure and he suddenly regretted telling me something hoping I'd know but ended up not knowing anything. 

"Must have missed out," I lock my phone after seeing my last message to her and shove it in my pocket. 

"Right. Don't worry man, everything's going to be okay." Jason smacks my back but nothing about that voice makes me feel supported. If anything, his voice is sad and he's forcing himself to give me energy. "Oh, shit," He stops as we reach the staircase. "I forgot to get the beer crate in the boot. I'll be there in five, just set the place up." 

Before I suggest accompanying him, he's turned and sprinted across the empty arena back to my car where Liam's waiting for his wife. Weird. They're all acting weird today. But it's not my job to analyze them anymore. Even though fear is gripping every part of my heart, I know she won't let me go again. I know she won't run away again. It's just the memories of today that are making me paranoid. I should get a grip on my emotions before I end up screwing it. 

I begin climbing the eight floors of steps, one after the other. The higher I climb, the darker it gets. I start breathing heavily at the fifth flight of steps so I slow my pace down.