Returning Red

OD'd.

NEW YORK - 4 YEARS AGO

Isabella

"Bee?" Lily calls me as she leans against my shoulder. I hum, wrapping my jacket around her. The only advantage of Jason Cody's jacket is the fact that it's so big, it naturally keeps me and Lily warm. "Who told you to take therapy?" 

I stiffen and I know Lily senses it. Her head leans away from my shoulders to peek at my face. The corners of my mouth twitch as I try to purse my lips. I debate on whether I should tell her the truth or I should hold it back because I fear being judged by an eight-year-old. 

Is it even okay to tell her things that are so traumatic?

She smiles shaking her head. "I know it's not easy to choose therapy as a source for healing. People usually keep it as a last option. It's okay if you think I'm too young to know, but I just wanted to tell you that my silence doesn't mean I'm dumb." 

I laugh as I wrap my arm around her neck and pull her to my chest. We watch the green dense trees around us. The clearing makes me want to admit it to her. She's the first person I'm telling this to. The other two people, I was forced to tell. I make up my mind to tell my most embarrassing, careless, irresponsible incident to an eight-year-old girl wrapped up in my arms. 

"Mia Sanders," my voice breaks. "She's my elder sister's best friend. She was the one who told me to go to therapy." 

Lily nods. "Why? Because you were miserable without your school friends?" 

When she says it like that, it does make me sound stupid and dumb. I don't let Lily's unintentional jab affect me. 

I pout. "That, for starters. Do you know what ODing means?" 

Lily jerked off my arm and stood up. Her eyes were wide and shocked. I gulped when I see her lips fall apart. "You overdosed on the pills?" 

Her eyes begin to narrow into slits that make me fall from my own standards. It's beyond my knowledge how this little girl knows what ODing means but the way she's reacting reminds me of none other than her mother, and mine for that matter. If my mother ever found out about this, she'd gouge my eyes out, and then she'd gouge her own eyes out. Lily is minutes away from doing that. 

"Long story short, yes." I nod but that isn't how I wanted to title the entire event. 

"Which level?" She tightened her jaw as she crossed her arms. 

"How do you know all these specifications?" I'm scowling now. "You're eight years, you're not supposed to know all of these things." 

"Nine." She grits her tiny teeth. "I'm nine, technically ten in another two months, and I overheard people talking with my mother, I researched on this place called the internet to learn from their mistakes." 

I want to clap and give her a standing ovation because that is probably the best usage of any liberty she's ever gotten in her life. I remember how she was keenly listening to us from her room and in the car. 

"Does your mother know you eavesdrop?" I demand hugging my knees. 

She crosses her arm, scoffing and raising an eyebrow at me. "Does your mother know your overdosed?"