Bojack Horseman oneshots

Daine Nyugen

*girl reader because why not.*

" Daine, calm down, what's wrong?" I pleaded as my girlfriend was hyperventilating into the phone. I hear her taking long deep breaths. " Yes, just keep staying calm." I finally hear her sigh meaning she got it all out. " Can you tell me what happened, now?"

" I saw Mr.Peanutbutter today." I tensed thinking the worst. However, I have to trust my girlfriend. " And pickles was with him as well." I  no longer felt tense since Pickles, Mr.Peanutbutter's girlfriend was there. " Me and Mr.Peanutbutter are finally officially divorced."

" Okay, that's good, but why were you rambling nervously before into the phone." I asked

" It's just Bojack-" I didn't even let her finish what she was going to say.

" Can deal with his own problems." I soothingly said.

" Bojack is my best friend. Also, we had already solved the problem." I sighed as Diane explain how her and bojack had this long journey- going town to town- looking for Bojack's lucky cufflinks at all the girls he slept with house. Only to find them inbetween the couch cushions. " He is so manipulative, and he feed me some lie of how these cufflinks were the only thing his mom gave to him. Which is funny because I wrote a book on him, I should've known his mother didn't give him no cufflinks. Sometimes I wonder why I am friends with such person. "

" Well, it's to late to complain now, and I mean Bojack is your close friend, and you care about him eventhough you're upset with him now." I looked at the clock to see it's 10:00pm," So you went knocking door to door all day."

" Yep,"

" How does Bojack just sleep with so many people when he is a complete asshole. " This is truely puzzling to me.

" Because he is a famous asshole." Daine and I laughed at how funny being famous can get you... and out of stuff. Wow, we hold celebrities on high pedestals.

" Well, maybe if your not to tired, you could come over?" I threw out, hoping she would say yes. " You know a marathon of (favorite tv show) is playing on Tv. "  She didn't say anything for while before telling me yes and that she be there in a few minutes.

I rushed around my house cleaning- well throwing things under or behind stuff till it looked clean. I took out the popcorn bowl and decide to leave it and the microwave popcorn bags on the counter, so the popcorn wasn't cold when she got here. Then I ran into the bathroom and perfected my hair in the mirror to where it looks good but like I didn't just fix it. Then I add a bit of nude lipgloss to my lips and waited anxiously for her to get here.

" Hey, (Y/N)." Daine squeked which was weird but I don't care. She always been a little weird.

"Hey babe," I gave her a kiss as she closed the front door behind her. " Don't forget to lock the locks, I am gonna pop the popcorn."

" Okay, I can't wait for the marathon. It's gonna be fun and I am a fun girlfriend." She is acting strange.

" Okay," I looked over at her sitting down in the livingroom before tossing the popcorn bag into the microwave.

" So how is Girl Croosh?" I asked.

" My job?"

" No, your evil twin's job?" She turned on the couch to where she could face me. " Yes, your job," I chuckled.

" Girl Croosh is fine, the normal. I write important stuff, like something political, that no one cares about and then I write something silly, like five ways to enjoy pizza, than everyone is reading it." She sighed.

" If it makes you feel any better, I try to read both your silly and important writing. Also I do agree that eating pizza folded in half is enjoyable." I smiled at her as she smiled back, but it soon started to fade into a frown. She take her writing very seriously, and I know she wants to write better things and reach people with her writing.

" Hey, Look at the bright side. When you do write something important and alot of people read it then you'll feel like you earned it." I was gonna hug her and keep consoling her, but the microwave was beeping. " The popcorns done!"  I yelled across.

I grabbed the bag and poured into the bowl before leaving and turning off the the kitchen lights with the bowl in hand.

" Are you ready- Daine!" She was crying. Why is she crying? "What's wrong? Is it your job because honey it'll get better." I reached out to grab her hand, but she snatched it away and stood up.

" Daine, your making me panic a little bit. Can you tell me what's wrong?" I pleaded.

" I can't," She huffed turning to face me," why are you so nice?"

" Me, nice pff, that is wrong on so many levels. I am bad to the bone." I crossed my arm trying to look tough. She smiled at my antics and relief just washed over me.

Until, " I lied, (Y/N)."

* Ooooooo, what did Diane lie about? Who know? Let's find out... another time because I am getting tired, so the cliff hanger was never planned but it's been a while since I updated and my eyelids are getting heavier. So, like always I hope you guys enjoyed.