Bojack Horseman oneshots

Sarah Lynn

I cried all day long when I heard, I was emotionaly paralyzed. I stayed in my room locked away. I didn't want to look or hear anything that might reminds me of her.

" I knew ..." This was the only thing that I could force out before sobs forced it's way out.

I knew she wasn't clean, I knew. My fist began to clench as I pushed my knees deeper into my chest as I layed on my bed struggling to breathe through all the tears.

I wish I was there I could've stopped her, I could've saved her.

I promised her that I would be there for her. I was supposed to be there for her. I slammed my fist into the mattress over and over untill the snot started to run and I wiped it with the back of my hand.

Why did I break it off, why, why. I would give anything to go back. To see her face and hold her warm body again.

I had too, I can't go back, I couldn't be the person who I used to be. She would've made me relapse if I was with her. I can't do that anymore, I also promised to never get as low as begging on the street for a little hit, selling all my belongings and the belongings of those I cared for a ounce of what I believed was happiness.

But she needed me, I knew how she felt, the constant pressure to keep her fans, to entertain, to be the daughter her mother pays attention too. I remember when I woke up after me and her had a little fix, before we decided to get clean. We had sex that was amazing but also blurry. I coming down and I pulled her fancy covers off my naked body. I remembered thinking how much the blanket would go for. I decided to look for her because I knew she had to have a secret stash somewhere. I search her mansion for what felt like hours until I finally found her. She was in the bathroom, crying and she stared directly at reflection in the mirror. I never saw her more vulnerable and devastated.

"Sarah," I said barely above a whisper. She quickly tried to whip away her tears

" Did you want some more coke? I have a big stash in the kitchen from when DJ Zipper threw a party here." She said nonchalantly.

I remember how apart of me wanted to just go snort more coke and forget what I saw. However, it was like I wasn't following my brain, but something from inside. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her. She struggled at first saying how she was fine and I need to stop being strange. Slowly she stopped, and just took quiet breathes as I held her.

She planted her head in my chest, " I can't even look at myself, I keep thinking of this little girl who had foolish dreams doomed before she was even born. A mother who could care less about if her daughter needed to eat, as long as she had her new accessories or whatever made her happy. No one to properly care or guide her. A world of people who only take and take." She sighed, " Alright, I'm fine (Y/N), let me go."

I had let her go morely because I was surprised.

" You know my name?" I said skeptically though astounded.

" Yeah, doofus." She said rolling her eyes.

I thought we were just coke and sex buddies. She scratch my itch and I scratch hers. After that things were different, well Sarah went back to doing coke, but I could feel my interest turn from just her supply but also to her. Months passed before I spoke about how I felt but we were both high off our asses that I don't know if she said yes because of the coke or what.

However we started dating and I don't mean going to a night club date, but we actually went places. Hell, we even went bowling. Everything seems fun I guess when your high. Then I had my first od, Luckily she was there and knew exactly what to do.
When I woke up, it was like I was hit with a feeling of new. I no longer wanted to get high. I didn't want to die.

Sarah told me I was exaggerating, and that she has experienced alot of ods before. Somehow I had persuaded her to come with me to rehab. I realized I loved her, and the fact that she could easily shrug off almost dying, hurts.

We went and not even halfway through Sarah was sneaking in drugs. I had took it seriously hoping she would too. Maybe if she had an example, I had talked to her on multiple occasions but always dropped it if our arguments got real rough. I never really knew what to do,but I knew if I was near her, I could at least be there.

It only got worst, and I even though I had earned my chip after rehab being around her benders called to my old urges. I felt like a kid allergic to sugar in a candy store. The happiness and lightness you get from a quick fix. The feeling of being invincible and not worrying about anything. Free as a cloud in an endless sky. The temptation only grew stronger, I begged for her to slow down, to go without it for a day, but even I knew that was foolish. The feigning sensation of wanting something so badly, how could you say no.

I didn't want to fall back, but I also was in love, so I gave her a choose.

" It's either me or the drugs, Sarah?" Tears were forming but I held them back.

She laughed, something that used to make my heart swell with happiness. " You think your the first sex toy to say that. I thought because you did coke that you would be different, but I just watched as you brought down my high." She quickly snorted a line before getting up to leave, " if you haven't realized, I pick the Coke."

After I would follow up on her with the news, she was going to a AAA club but I knew she didn't stop, not Sarah Lynn. I tried to forget her and I almost did until she texted me late at night. She was obviously hammered or high or maybe both who knows.

Yi hinl youe neyter than me I sm he Sarah Lynn.

Ust beciasre yyou got ober

Your a ass nd I muss yyoue assy-nessss

It was hard to decipher, and at first I just ignored it and went on with my day but it was in my mind all day. Mid Afternoon, after I got off work, I pulled out my phone and pieced together her incoherent sentence.

You think your better than me, I am the Sarah Lynn.

Just because you got sober.

Your an ass, I miss your assy-nessss

For some reason that made me happy, she missed me. She actually did care for me. I wanted to talk to her than and there but I decided against it. Not knowing what to say or do. She was still a frequent user.

I decided to go to her early in the morning when she was coming down. I was ecstatic and nervous, it's only been 3 months since the break up but it felt like forever since I've seen her.

Morning came and I threw on my cleanest and nicest jeans and a plain shirt. I went to my bathroom to get ready as

" Today on Hollywood news, I am your host a Ryan Crest type."

Thank you to Jazzminipanini for suggesting a Sarah Lynn One shot. I know it isn't the happiest but I got the inspiration from the song above.
Anyway I hope y'all enjoyed and stay safe like Cardi B said, " CORONAVIRUS, ITS GETTING REAL."
Also to those hording toilet tissue, please stop. Love and kisses