Bojack Horseman oneshots

Small Rant & Small Story

Okay before I jump into my rant, hello readers, I hope your having a good day.🌈

Sooooo, what is the whole buying coins to read the next pages, like for real wattpad. It's like your telling me have this free candy and you get to open but to eat the candy you have to pay for it. We all knew wattpad was trying to make a profit when they added ads in between chapters, but at the same time as a reader myself I know how to wait for chapters because you have to usually wait for the writer to publish another chapter. However atleast that crap isn't on every story. Which no disrespect to any writer who just trying to make some money, but I remember when wattpad was just a free app without ads and this new stuff. People would come to write or read. Simple as that.

Anyway here is the short story

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Ralph's pov)

It has been a couple days since Princess Carolyn had adopted a baby ... without me. I thought she wanted me to fight for her, but now she doesn't. Ugh, women are so complicated.

I would catch myself staring at babies when I drive home from work or worse I catch a glance at a pink object and my mind plays cruel tricks on me making me think the object is her.

However I don't have time for my emotions as I have to run my card shop. I still have to make a card for a new holiday I have to make, maybe stove day. Thanks for making cooked food, no that's a terrible idea. How about ....... Um......... Maybe.......... well I got nothing.

Maybe, I should try something new and that should get me thinking of things. How about trying spin classes or maybe sky diving. Well lets back up on the sky diving.

" Mr. Stilton, your sister is -"

"Hey Ralphie," my sister Stefani burst into the door before my receptionist could announce her arrival," So I was talking to my writer for Girl Croosh, Diane and her article was so last year so I told her to spice it up. I thought she would ..." I just tuned out what she was saying. Half of the time I don't know what she is saying. She talks so fast and with slang, I guess I am getting too old.

" Ralph, are you listening." I hummed in response as I focused on the paperwork infront of me. " So our highschool reunion is coming up, wanna go together. I am gonna to look killer in my outfit."

" I don't really care about seeing people I haven't seen in ages. What do you think about giving cards to pilots, like a tribute to flying safe."

" No, it makes me think of 9/11, which god rest there souls, but no one wants to think about dead people. Also, you should definitely come, it's gonna be fun. Remember Durk,"

" The guy who bullied me in school."

" Oh, I thought you guys were friends, anyway, he is a successful doctor now. I was think since you two were friends-"

" enemies," I corrected.

" Tomato, tomato, Can you set me up with him. He is tots my type of guy. The one that has money."

I have my own business, so nothing to be jealous of.

" I heard he has his own private jet, so can you hook us up or what?" I didnt even answer her with a reply.

" Ralphie, please, if I ask him myself I will look desperate." She whined.

" Or straightforward, which is attractive in a women." I don't wanna go and see that some one else has a better life than me and especially not Durk.

" I will be straightforwardly desperate." I went back to work ignoring her as she keeps whining. After a while it becomes quite. I had to look up to see if she left but she didn't and was just staring at me.

" I got it, what if I get Princess Caroline to come with you to the reunion. Then you'd have to set me and Durk together." She can't be serious? Princess Carolyn wants nothing to do with me.

" Princess Carolyn, already explained that she just doesn't want to be with me anymore." I felt a swift imaginary jab in the heart saying that out loud," Maybe I should just move on."

" Ralphie, if there is one thing I know definitely about is being a women and I know she wants to be with you." I didn't want to get my hopes up, but hearing that made it soar. Maybe, I could get Princess Carolyn back.

~~~Stefani POV~~~

After stilton agreed, I decided to go shopping for the most to die for outfit for Durk. Maybe, I'll get him to take me around the world. I kinda feel sorry for lying to him, saying Princess Carolyn liked him because I have No idea if she does. Maybe I could get Durk to promote Girl Croosh with all that dough he got. Making a trendy ad with a catchy jingle would be perfect in helping to build my female empire.

~~~To Be Continued~~~

I hope you liked the story and will Princess Carolyn not show up to the reunion? Will Stefani stick to what she promised? Find out next time on What do celebrities know? Jk😛.
Side note- I have no idea why I made Stefani into this money hungry type chick, but it's whatever.