The Chaos Of A Human.Being

The parts of me that I no longer own

Have I not been good enough?Have I not poured enough parts of my self into your heart and trusted you with them for safety and warmth? Have I not left enough bits of my heart to complete you with until my ribcage was completely defenseless against unexpected punches and cracks?

See babe I never cared about the setting that was meant to crash and burn, I was willing to be at the end of every raging fire for the sake of you.
I was waiting on the end of a road filled with thorns and stones while you took your sweet time to arrive, I didn't care how much time it would take I would've waited forever, I would've waited with my hand outstretched for you to grab whenever it was that you were ready, I would've kept it held out for as long as you wished just for the result of you holding on it.
But you clearly needed no hand no time soon, and babe my hand started aching from being held out for too long with no clear answer or appearance of you at all.

You would only look at me and say I love you over and over, as if that's some kind of excuse or some kind of syndrome I should fall on two knees for, as if I love you fixes all the empty holes I'll never be able to glue back, as if I love you is enough to cover all wounds and heal their ripped ends.

You had pulled all the strings off of my heart like some kinda guitar that you pulled on too strong, like some god forsaken rule in your book to love yet shatter me with all your force.

Babe be sure that it's okay really, I only have me to blame, I waited at the end of that barely lit road for way too long until it was too late, too late for you to let me in and too late to give me the parts of you that I yearned for.

And above all the things I've put on the line and lost, I knew I could never have the parts of me back and the strings you enjoyed pulling out of my heart will never patch back, they're yours babe I have no choice over that.