The Chaos Of A Human.Being

To Love

Dear love,

After endless thinking and wondering, I have decided to come get the answers I need, to calm the storm in my head about your intentions, to make sense of all the questionable things you have kept hazy.

My dearest love,
I have looked for you in the faces of all the people I know, I found you resting and settling in the faces of the people who gave me most comfort. I found you slowly fading until you slipped away from between the faces of the two people I loved the most. I found you foggy in the faces I needed by my side.
And while you were surrounding me almost everywhere, there were some faces that I longed for love in them, I prayed for you love in their ignoring hearts, but you never came. I wonder why?

You made your print on the faces of all my beautiful friends, some of them hit the highest and rarely the lows, and the rest cried at night because of your cruelty.
You are the most beautiful feeling they said, yet I couldn't help but doubt you when I'd find them with bags under their eyes, heavy red eyelids and an eternity of sleepless nights. All because of you love. But what made me go even crazier was how they came two days after happy, healthy, glowy, shiny.... the list is endless.

How do you do that? How do you mess them up only to fix them? What kind of games do you pull on them?

And the craziest of all; is that I never found you in the face of any boy, yet honestly I'm afraid of finding you...
I'm afraid you'll let me down, I'm afraid to have you scar me, kill me or pull my soul right out.
What if you faded on me? What if all the hopeless romantic movies lied to me on your mask? What if you couldn't be satisfied with what I gave?

All those questions my dearest love spin in my head begging for an answer. An answer I'm afraid you can't give, an answer that I might find in the face of that boy I haven't come across yet.
And I hope you won't sleep on my case love because your dearest friend Time will make sure we gather again.

Sincerely,
Yours.