The Letters You Pretended To Ignore

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by Linnzaa

by Linnzaa

It's been a while no?

You may be wondering why I kept on writing to you the past couple of months when you never bothered to write back, when I checked the mail every morning looking for your name yet it never appeared.
As an answer to that; I knew you read them, every single letter, I knew your fingers itched over my initials on every single envelope I sent hesitating wether to open it this time or throw it away with the other useless mails.
I knew you read them because one Sunday morning I shredded what I wrote to you to pieces, cursed the tears falling down my face and decided not to write anymore, a couple of days later I received an anonymous letter saying there's a package with my name delayed in South Carolina; where you happen to be living, and I found no package at all!

But it's been 2 months and 18 days since my last letter and I kind of ignored any sign of you claiming to miss my despair and need for you, so I wonder what your face would look like when you see my initials in your mail Tuesday morning!

I have gotten over you. Over all the single details I pretended to not take notice of. I have gotten over the way you shake your hair when you're happy, over the way the brown in your eyes turns to hazel in the sunlight, over the way your lips crinkle when you're amused, over the way you fidget with your fingers when you're lying and over how you have the decency to pretend you gave me your heart when all I had was a bunch of lies.

I am really over you. I don't care if you stare at her with that glint in your eyes, which I once thought was made for no other creature but me. I don't care if you drink your too sweet coffee at 3 am on the rooftop with her the way you used to make a habit of it with me. I don't care if she lives in your mind and you keep thinking of ways to make her smile. I don't care if you do with her all that you did with me.

I don't miss you anymore. I don't search for your face when I enter any room. I don't miss a hand around my shoulder while I'm strolling down an alley I don't know. I don't long for that sly smile when I say cliché shit without thinking. I don't miss you even when I'm missing you.

The heart is a crazy thing to control but once it stops beating for hazel eyes and a sly smile you can control how many times it breaks a day when it fails to find what it beats for.