Snatched (August Alsina)

Chapter 30: Realization

"Hold on hold on hold on" I said rapidly, holding either side of my head with my fingers in my hair as I slowly paced around. Cliff stood only a short distance away from me, noticeably feeling as much mixed emotions as I was feeling about our confessions. "Ok... you came here first, so you explain first."

"Fine, but I need a damn good explanation from you when I'm done" He replied. I stopped my pace and stood in front of him, arms crossed and all weight shifted on one leg.

"Well, start then" I answered.

He sighed and went back over to the couch to sit down before he began, whike I kept my position. "Ight, well, like I just told you, I'm uh... I'm gay. I didn't want anyone to find out, so I...I, uh, I lead you on and used you as a cover up. I felt guilty until now because I thought you was a really sweet girl who didn't deserve it, but now I'm findin' out you pregnat when we ain't even had sex, so now I don't even feel all that bad.  Who the fuck did you cheat on me with?"

"Even if I did cheat, this obviously wasn't a real relationship anyway!" I snapped. "See, I liked you. I really, really liked you, but you were just using me so people wouldn't find out about your sexuality!? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nah nah, what the hell is wrong with you, who was you fuckin?" He asked. His voice was now raising to my level, and this conversation was just getting uglier and uglier. "You fuckin cheated, you betrayed me!"

Hold up, he's telling me that I betrayed him!?

"Look, this happened before you and I even started dating, ok? I was drunk, and I had sex, so I'm pregnant but you know what? At least I didn't use somebody for my own selfish benefit. You have no right to tell me I betrayed you."

"Danie-" He began, but I cut him off.

"You know what, just go." I ordered sternly. "I'm not gonna tell anybody about your stupid secret, as long you just fucking stay away from me."

"Whatever" He mumbled before he followed my demand and made his way out the door.

"Fuck my fucking life!" I shouted. I angrily snatched a pillow from the couch and threw it at the wall.

"Can things get any worse?" I wailed, now hysterical in tears. "I mean can anything in my life possibly get any fucking worse?"

August's POV

"I don't see what's so urgent about this" I mumbled, sitting much away from Mama and Mel. I can't believe this nigga brought me up here for my mama, I don't wanna deal with this shit right now.

"August c'mon, stop with that shit" Melvin said. "I brought you here because we all need to settle things out."

"August, please, you need to forgive the past" Mama said. "I promise I can become a better person, we can become a better family."

"I don't need or want nothin' to do with you" I retorted.

"C'mon August" Melvin defended. "At least give it a try. Maybe we can fix things."

"Nah, man. I don't need no mama in my life. I'm a grown ass man."

Mama looked me dead in the eye. Her eyes were puffy and tinted red, but other than that, they matched mine all the way, same shape and color and shit.

"Don't you love me August?" she asked lowly. This question really got to me... I mean I ain't want nothin to do with her, but... she's my mama. What do I even say to that?

"August..." Melvin trailed off after a few moments of me not supplying an answer.

I feel pretty bad about Danielle not lovin' me and I'm a tough nut to crack. I can only imagine how my own mama - my own blood - would feel if I didn't love her back. She carried me for 9 months and gave me life. She worked her ass off tryna keep us alive, trying keep us from being evicted from our house, tryna keep us happy, while my daddies were to busy being addicted to crack. I guess my mom couldn't help that she had a downfall and chose the wrong path. Maybe I should've been there for her more.