The Broken One ✔

Chapter 28

Hi all,

This chapter focuses on the effects of abandonment and growing up with a parent absent.

For more information please visit a site listed below.

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/7521/ways-abandonment-issues-impact-life/

http://dralisonblock.com/fear-abandonment-lasting-effects-trauma/

https://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/ways-children-grew-single-parent-love-differently/

https://www.thelist.com/63248/learned-growing-single-parent/

https://www.livestrong.com/article/83670-effects-single-parent-home-childs/

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/abandon.htm

Thank you

Happy reading!

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I walked out of the restroom slowly, with Nate, Mickey, and Andi in the distance. We had spent the last two hours talking about random shit, and honestly, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I fit right in.

"Ned hey" a voice greeted.

I looked up to see Sarah only a few feet in front of me "oh hi" I greeted awkwardly.

I hadn't seen Sarah since graduation. The last time we exchanged words was when she met me at my usual bar.

She smiled "long time no see...how have you been?"

It was only a month earlier when I overheard her phone call with Jenny. After everything Sarah had said to my face and behind my back, I didn't want to be anywhere near her.

"Fine," I said, looking her in the eye.

Sarah pushed her brown hair away from her olive toned face "...are you here alone?" She raised a brow.

I wanted to say that I was there with my girlfriend and her friends but Andi hated labels. Most of the time, I had no idea what to call her. So I just called her a friend.

I shook my head "no, I'm here with my.... friends"

"Jimmy and all that?" Sarah assumed.

Jimmy was becoming a distant memory more and more every day. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew Jenny was right about him.

"No...actually I haven't talked to Jimmy in months so..." I admitted.

"Really? What happened?" She raised her brows.

I knew from experience that Sarah always had an ulterior motive when asking me personal questions and in all honesty, she never really cared about me.

"Do you care or are you just curious?" I folded my arms.

There was a moment of silence as Sarah smirked ".....just curious" she admitted.

I nodded knowingly "so I thought"

Sarah was one of the most complicated people I had ever met. She was angry and resentful towards everyone yet she wanted to pass as a something else entirely.

She looked over to her friends, who stood at the bar with drinks in their hands "well, I should get back to my friends"

I looked down for a second "Yeah me too"

"See you around" she half smiled as leaving my sight.

"I really hope not" I muttered under my breath as walking over to the table.

I don't even know how to describe Sarah. She was an angry and resentful woman who didn't want anyone knowing how truly damaged she was.

Was it her parents who did this to her? Sarah and Sam were so different yet in ways so alike. What do the two have in common besides sharing a father? Well, they were abandoned by the same guy.

I took a seat beside Nate, with Mickey and Andi sitting across from us.

"Are you okay?" Mickey raised a brow, compelling Andi too shoot her head up.

Andi was an entirely different story. She wasn't angry or resentful, just afraid.

I didn't know too much about the facts behind being abandoned or growing up without a parent, but I did know that Sarah, Andi, and I had been affected in different ways.

At the time, I didn't believe that growing up without my mum would leave any long-term effects. I was forced to believe otherwise when meeting Sarah and Andi.

Both had estranged fathers, one hated all man, and the other seemed almost afraid of them. How could this all stem from one parent leaving us when we were young?

"Yeah I just ran into somebody I wish I hadn't" I admitted.

"Hey we've all been there" Nate agreed.

That's when I remembered something that Mickey and Nate had mentioned earlier. They told us the story about how they met. Mickey took psych 101 in college and Nate walked into the classroom completely lost. Mickey left his seat to help Nate find his class.

I figured that maybe Mickey could help me understand more about the effects of growing up with a parent absent.

I looked over to Mickey "you took psych 101, right Mick?"

He nodded "sure"

That was my chance to get some answers. I didn't know how much I really did crave answers until meeting people who were just as broken as I was.

"Can being abandoned....or growing up without a parent effect a kid when they get older?" I asked curiously.

"Of course" Mickey nodded.

That wasn't the answer that I was hoping for. Again, I honestly believed that my mum walking out had zero effect on me. It was hard hearing how much she really did influence my future.

"Really?" I raised my brows.

"Yeah, it can create an emotional void" Mickey started "low self-esteem, insecurity, trust issues or trust intensity, independence, fear of rejection and/or abandonment, they can become sceptical towards love or the complete opposite because they just want the fairytale their parents never had....does that help?"

Trust issues, being sceptical towards love with the fear of rejection and abandonment are what Andi and Sarah had. Whereas I, on the other hand, was dealing with insecurity, trust intensity and fear of abandonment.

Three people, all broken, all because we had a parent who didn't care enough to stay. What if they had stayed? Who would I be today?

Would I still be here with Andi, Mickey, and Nate? or would I be on the other side of the club with my long-term girlfriend celebrating our anniversary?

"Immensely" I nodded.

"Good, glad to have helped" he smiled as sipping his drink.

My mother, a woman I have never known screwed up my entire life by leaving. Was Elise and Luke as screwed up by her walking out as I was? Does Luke ever look at his kid's and want to do what our mother did to us? Why did she leave?

Those were the questions on loop in my head. The only person that could answer them were my mum, dad, and brother.

I glanced at the three of them "...guys?"

"Yeah, Ned?" Nate raised a brow.

"I think I wanna find my birth mum" I confessed.