Nanny Diaries

Chapter 5 - Running

@Veda99 provided inspiration for additional writing in this chapter. With the quote: If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, it was never meant to be.  

Zack

I hit pause on the remote, freezing the movie where it is. Running my hands obsessively through my hair, I resist pulling it out. 

I can’t stop thinking about her. 

She’s the only thing in this world that makes any sense. 

And now I’m quoting Once Upon a Time. Which, by the way, is the best show on the planet. I know I’m a grown man, but I like fairytales just as much as Mission Impossible movies. 

Give me a break. 

But, truly, it’s like ever since she walked into existence in my life...

I can never go back to the way I was living before. Centered around work and buddies and the hope to someday have a family, but not really believing it would ever happen. 

And that’s why I...

I grab a pillow off the side of the couch and throw it across the room, angry at myself. I need something to get her out of my head. 

Or I might go nuts. 

Picturing her smile, the way her eyes watered as she told me the truth. 

That she’s pregnant. 

I touch the sides of my face, exhaling and wanting so badly to be with her again. 

Snap out of it, Zack. She’t not interested, okay? Do yourself a favor and leave the girl alone so you don’t go mentally insane. No one is going to be better off if you don’t let her go. 

If you love someone, let them go. If don’t come back, it was never meant to be.

The saying rings throughout my mind, and I decide to suck it up and take its advice. 

That is, if I do love Lauren. 

I have to let her go. 

If she calls me, or we meet again, I’ll know we were meant to be. 

This is going to be a lot more difficult than I thought, I think as I stare at the open DVD case, where Crazy, Stupid, Love is lying, reminding me of the day I recommended it to her and suggested she let me know how it works out. 

I wanted to ask her out right then and there. 

But that would’ve been jumping the gun, and Madison from the office showed up just then, interrupting us because she and I had a meeting at lunch, and I was running late. 

Of course, she chose that day to dress like a street walker and scare Lauren away. 

Well, not away. But I saw the look in her eyes. 

I don’t know if that’s good or bad. 

I fling myself down on the couch, letting out a scream not unlike a wild animal. If this is what falling in love does to you, no wonder so many who are act crazy. 

It’s what the other person does to your heart that makes you nuts. 

Does she feel this way right now?

.  .  .

“So, pregnancy does this?” Lisa asks, motioning up and down at my sweatshirt and sweats self, my baby bump more noticeable than ever. I look down, then glare up at her, in mock hurt and anger.