Nanny Diaries

Chapter 18 - Stronger

Spring had sprung. The tree in my front yard was fully blossomed, covered in white. I’d broken out my favorite warm weather clothes. No longer were people rushing to get out of the cold. After school, we would hang out at the park, laying in the grass, soaking in the sun. 

It was my sophomore year of high school. I’d been feeling more like myself lately. No longer was I depressed. No longer did I wonder why my life sucked. It didn’t anymore. 

There was a reason for that. 

And his name was Graham. 

He came into my life on February 14th, 2007. I was laying on the grass as usual, when he rocketed by, tripping over my outstretched feet. He flew by my face, over my head and landed in a heap a few yards away. I propped myself on my elbows, scrunching my eyebrows at the writhing mess on the field. 

I burst out laughing. 

“Do you find my pain funny?” he moaned from where he lay. 

I cover my mouth, stifling another hoot of laughter. “N-no. I- I was laughing at-”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know.”

I sigh in defeat. “I do know. I’m Lauren.”

“Graham.” he untangled himself from the pretzel in which he’d been twisted and comes over to sit next to me. 

“So, Lauren,” he began, looking at me with sea green eyes. I blinked in surprise and slight discomfort at his intensity, but I focused on what he was going to say next. “Do you often laugh at people’s expense?”

“Oh, yes. My brother broke his arm last week. I peed my pants and busted my gut enjoying his pain.” I retorted. It was true, my brother had broken his arm, but I hadn’t laughed at him. Quite the opposite. But, not the point. 

“Well, I might have to stick around and teach you what a respectful person does and does not laugh at.”

I gaze out across the park, all the way to the pond. Lilypads floated on its surface, the occasional dragonfly skimmed on the top. The city added fish to it each year and gardeners came by weekly to tend it. It was one of the few things in our town that people didn’t trash. 

I shook my head. “I’m not that easy.”

He cocked his head to the side, confused.

“I’ll spell it out for you. Pretty boys have no effect on me. You can’t ‘pick me up’ with one line and a stray glance. It won’t work, so don’t waste your time.”

His expression clearly showed no girl had ever turned him down. As far as I was concerned, he had it coming. I was almost glad I had unintentionally tripped him. 

“See you.” I said, popping up and grabbing my bag. “Or not.” I couldn’t help adding as I strutted away. 

I knew the types. The guys who would hit on you and use you like a tissue. One and done. I was not that type of girl, and I would not fall for it. I’d seen too many girls fall for a Graham-bot and wind up a teen mom. God knew I wasn’t that stupid. 

But he couldn’t take no for an answer. That very next day, I found a dozen roses in my locker and a heart shaped chocolate box. A note was carefully written out, asking me to go out with him.

I dumped all three in the trash on my way to English. 

The next week he sent a message over the PA system asking me to the Spring Formal. I called him out in the middle of the hallway and promptly rejected his sorry butt.

He rented a horse and rode it to my house.

I bolted the lock. 

He got the school marching band to play Forever. Right in the middle of the assembly. I stomped out of the gym and wrote a note to put on his locker. 

He kept trying. 

Eventually, out of spite, I agreed to go on one date with him. He was a perfect gentleman, bought me dinner, took me to a movie, never attempted to hold my hand or kiss me. 

I felt myself falling for the bastard. 

We became boyfriend and girlfriend. 

We were so happy. 

We talked about taking our relationship to a new level. If you know what I mean. 

But I said no. 

I thought that was the end of it. He said it was fine, we could wait. I continued on with my daily routine. I had a good friend back then, Dalia, she and I were close. I went to a party with Graham and Dalia on the night of my sixteenth birthday. We all were having a great time. Next thing I know, Graham and Dalia disappeared. I went upstairs, looking for a bathroom, but instead I found a bedroom. 

Containing Graham and Dalia. 

In a compromising position. 

I never spoke to him again. Three weeks later, I learned he knocked her up. She moved to a different town, he was ridiculed at school. Everyday for weeks, I ate lunch in the bathroom. I never understood before why girls who got cheated on were embarrassed. They got cheated on. Not the other way around. So, why?

Because it means you weren't good enough for him.

You're a loser.  

I remember thinking, FML. 

But, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 

At least that’s what they say.