Nanny Diaries

Bonus Chapter

Zack

“Okay. Thank you. Bye.” I say into the mouthpiece, feeling dazed. I stuff my cellphone into my pocket, gazing ahead at my computer screen. An open email not yet addressed blinks at me, and robotically, I ex out of it and stand abruptly. Grabbing hold of my coat, I open my office door and stride out, not sure where I’m headed, but knowing I must go. I pass by my colleague, Madison, who is twisting some intern’s tie around and around on her finger what she must think is seductively, but really looks as if she’s a dog walker and he’s a misbehaving puppy. The intern, I think his name is Kyle, throws me a glance as I get in the elevator, and I swallow a smirk at the frightened rabbit expression in his eyes. 

Madison is a scary one. She knows how to get what she wants. And she’ll do whatever it takes to get that. I see she catches a glimpse of me as the doors slide shut and she mouths something at me. I crinkle my eyebrows in response, but I’m too preoccupied to care what she was trying to say. 

Soon I’m spit out on the street. I orient myself quickly, sliding my arms into my jacket and following my feet. I soon realize I’m heading against the lunchtime crowd, toward the stores. I give up trying to put a reason to my flight and instead think about the phone call I just received. 

I’m going to be a dad. 

“Holy-” I mutter before almost going flying into the gutter. I right myself, glancing back at the pavement that’s cracked and raised. Someone could get hurt. 

“Magazines! Magazines!” I hear the grungy salesperson shout from behind his stand. I shake my head, hurrying to get out the cloud of tobacco smoke. Resisting my gag reflex, I dodge a homeless man dragging his garbage bag of belongings on the sidewalk. I think he’s the one who always screams about how the world is going to end. 

Imagine me, Zack, a father. How can that be? I mean, I know how. But, now it’s done and there is an actual child out there somewhere, growing, and becoming a person I helped create. A shiver travels down my spine and I shake myself, trying to not over think it too much. Just put it out of your head, and focus on not tripping in the puddle seeping into the cracks of the concrete. 

I stuff my hands into the pocket of my coat, passing my favorite delicatessen, Mia’s. I hardly go anymore though. They have a blue french horn, just like on How I Met Your Mother. Every time I go in now, I think of how I am single. I am childless. I am just another corporate loser who has a well paying job but nothing of true meaning in his life. Who needs a reminder of that?

Looking through tired eyes, I notice I’m in front of the video store. Confusion riddles my brain, looping through the knots and squeezing, causing me to blink furiously. I can’t see why it would hurt to pop in and, at the very least, check out the new releases. I push the door open, hearing the bell above the frame jingle in greeting. I raise a hand at the salesgirl who appears out of nowhere, giving her a half smile and taking note of her rounded stomach. 

The universe is conspiring against me. 

Or trying to drive me mad. 

Either way, I turn my back in one smooth motion and briskly walk to the back of the store. I peruse the comedy choices, most of which I’ve already seen, and the rest don’t look all that appealing. The bell at the front of the store sounds again and I walk over to the romance section, considering torturing myself tonight. It isn’t as if I have much to do anyway. 

I remember the day I moved here for work. My family threw me a goodbye party and they were all so sure I was going to be successful in the greatest city on Earth. I’d just graduated from law school and been offered a position at a huge firm in NYC. I still haven’t been home in all this time. Family is something too personal right now.