Chapter 39

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Marines POV

“Lets talk about pain.” Webber introduces.

It’s the day after Harry’s birthday and I am feeling a little drained. Last night, I guess I got my closure. He told me he made it threw “us.” That he was over it, and in a strange way it’s just what I wanted to hear, but it hurt so much. It’s so hard to let go of things. But now that I know he’s over it, I can officially begin to move on.

“What about it?” Berlin asks. Webber rolls his eyes.

“ I don’t know, Berlin,” Webber says sarcastically, “ how it makes you feel? What it something you feel pain for? Anything that comes to mind. And remember, I am not here to waste time with untruthful answers. You know what I mean.” Webber walks in front of his desk, “Who’s first?”

No one says anything. We all look around the room. I guess I have something to talk about, but I don’t really feel like going first. No one ever feels like going first.

“It’s fine. I will wait. Right now, there is something that popped into your brains that you cant spit out, so you are trying to think of something that was painful in your life but not as painful as that one event,” he pauses, “that one thing, that one person.” He quiets now, and looks around the room.

“Pain is consuming.” Quint says.

“Great, continue with that,” Webber alerts. Quint sit’s up straight on his chair and takes a few breaths. We are all looking at him.

“ It’s not something you can just, take your mind off of. You feel it in your stomach, in your eyes, in your head and you do nothing but sit there and feel bad about yourself and your life. It’s pathetic, and it is not beautiful. It just hurts.”

My heart was racing. You hear the pain in his voice.

“ What the fuck- I mean” Alex begins,

“You can swear in this workshop, who do you guys think I am?” Webber says, and we giggle.

“What I meant to say is that was, wow, Quint, your wow.” Quint laughs and thanks him awkwardly; it was funny.

“I’m sorry can I interject?” Charlie says, we all nod,

“It’s just, No offense Mr. Webber, but you want us to come in here and have this story, this big conflict that changed our lives, but I am not this super interesting guy, there isn’t much I have been through but it doesn’t mean I still don’t feel pain. Ughh, sorry, I don’t know how to say this, I guess, umm.” Charlie pauses, “ I feel nothing, and that’s really painful. I know they contradict, but I feel sort of numb, and then I go into these huge emotional breakdowns one day, then I go back to just feeling a bit empty. Maybe because I feel a bit unaccepted, and unable to express myself, so I just suppress everything until I don’t feel it. I guess that’s why my poetry can be quite isolated.” He looks like he’s going to cry.

“ That’s exactly how I felt, and sometimes still feel after my ‘attack’ I guess. I didn’t speak because I forgot how to, I was scared of everything. People touching me, dark lights, beds. The fear was so consuming that I just shut down. My body actually shut down. I didn’t feel anything, I was barely eating. So to an extent, I understand, I just don’t know how to help.” Clementine tells Charlie. She has never spoken so much,

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