Sparrows

Chapter 44

Marines POV

“I don’t really think that’s a good idea.” I tell him, standing with one arm across my body, itching my shoulder from anxiety. Why is he here? After everything that just happened, I would have expected him to listen and leave me alone.

“Marine please, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that to you. It was stupid.” Harry pleads. Yeah, it was stupid. Everything he does is stupid like not being able to control his fucking emotions and kissing girls he cheats on.

“I don’t think I am the one you should be apologizing to.” I say plainly. I let there be an awkward silence because I have no energy to have “small talk” with Harry. We never used to have small talk, how things change.

“How did she take it?” Harry says timidly, looking at his shoe, and then up to meet me at my eyes. I assume he talks about Electra. His eyes are as green as I remember. It’s weird, because though so much has changed between us; there will always be things about him that I will always remember as the same; beautiful and untouched.

 “She was very confused, but its not like she’s going to drop many years of friendship over it, as in, she wasn’t angry, just, confused.”

“So she knows, I mean, about us?” Harry asks carefully, trying not to use the wrong words but sucking at that, referencing “us” as if it still exists. Well, I don’t want it to.

“Yeah, everything.” I say quietly. Harry looks at me, even though I am looking down at my hands.

“You are really messed up, you know that Harry?” I spit out. I don’t really know what I am doing but I am just rolling with releasing my emotions. Before Harry has the time to answer, I continue,

“It’s so messed up, and it is so hard to understand why you do the things you do. I just don’t get it? It’s so hurtful to people who care about you. You cant just go around and do whatever you want, think!” I exclaim, confusion and anger laced in my voice.

“Like, why are you even wi-“ I stop myself. I don’t want to bring the subject into the conversation right now.

“Marine I fucking get it.” Harry says under his breath, coldly in that matter.

I furrow my eyes in confusion, “What did you just say?”

“I said I fucking get it. That’s all you seem to do when you see me, tell me how much of an asshole and fuck up I am. “ His eyes are a bit darker now. Yes he is getting angry, but there seems to be more sorrow than aggression in his tone.

“But do you think I don’t already know that? I don’t need you reminding me all the time!” Harry says much louder now, stepping closer to me.

“I get it! Do you want to know why I do these things Marine? Do you?” Harry gets closer and closer, louder and louder, and I am not scared, but concerned for him. He looks as if he is on the verge of breaking down.

“Answer me!” Harry yells, and as a reaction, I get a hold of his shaking hands, squeezing them tightly.