Hide x Kaneki one shots

One Year

Time passes really slowly when you don't sleep and cry most of your days. Take it from me, that's all I've done for the past 12 months without Hide. I'm actually quite surprised I'm still alive, I don't feel like eating. Even if I only have to do it once a month it just takes up time where I could be thinking about Hide. I've gotten a new view on death, see I didn't know my dad when he died so when my mother died I felt something of course. So I just expected all deaths to be like that, but no one told me I'd have to deal with so much pain and misery when the love of your life dies..

My mother was always working, never stopped. I didn't spend time with her like I did Hide. You could ask me what my mothers voice sounded like I still could tell you but it would be a cloudy description. On the other hand ask me how Hide's eyes sparkled when he talked about something he loved, well I could go on for hours with that topic. I've always been ready for death, just me though no one else. Of course now I think you'll never be ready it'll just happen. It will just take everything little by little, but it always takes the heartbeat last. Out of everything that's the one thing that haunts me the most. Although Hides broken voice also gets me, but his heartbeat was there I remember I could hear it. Except one second I heard it the next I couldn't.

So now the one year mark has finally come and I realize that life is truly black and white. As soon as your colour leaves you it's gone, it won't come back.. Never the same at least. I've tried to date and I've tried to forget but I can't because as soon as night comes around I'm found laying in my bed with the same memories, the same voice in my head, and the same coldness of the left side of the bed.

Now I guess it's my own fault for catching feelings. I was told and warned 'ghouls and humans shouldn't be together' I was certain I could change that and they could be! The way I see it now it's an unspoken rule to every couple. I just wanted things to work I've seen it happen before, why couldn't it just work for me. For once in my life can something please go my way?

Now I know Hide would be upset with me if he found out I was thinking this way. I know he would be right too he always was. I just need to forgot all the negativity thoughts and focus on the good in life, but that's easier said then done. I just miss the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend.. I miss Hideyoshi Nagachika.

(A/N I'm back, I've finally found time to write~ anyways hope you enjoyed some of it <3)