The two of us - Nichorello

3. Nothing changed

<Nicky's POV>

"You came to visit me how sweet of you, darling." I called to Vause sarcastically who was standing in my room, blocking the entry. She flinched at my voice and turned around with a guilty, yet distant facial expression on her face. What was going on? Had she already found out about Lorna?

Of course, Lorna's face had to emerge from behind the raven-haired woman. How could we possibly meet again after all this time? Although it probably was a coincidence, I hoped that God was granting me a second chance. Not to make Lorna my girlfriend again, but to make things right and straighten out all our issues. We ended on quite harsh terms.

Unfortunately, I could not tell anyone of my 'family' about our history. Because if they did, Lorna's reputation would be jeopardised.

<flashback>

"Nicky, Nicky!" The dark-haired woman cried out, reaching her climax pressed against the bathroom door. Her voice was so beautiful, filled with love, desire and this New Yorker accent. How I missed her voice. How I missed the way she stretched the word 'yeah' every time she said it or how she whispered into my ear every time she got bored. I missed everything about her. Her voice, her smile, her scent, her hands, her skin, just everything. Everything about her I had once loved. I still loved.

The feeling of rough, wet lips planting kisses on my cheek awoke me from my daydream. I was pulled back into reality when I looked into her brown eyes, realising that these were not hers. Not Lorna's. Not anymore.

I pressed my eyes shut, hoping that I would forget about her. That her memory would fade and stop haunting me every time I opened my eyes. No matter with how much girls I went out, no matter how much drugs I took, no matter how many girls I slept with, which believe me, was many, she was still it. She still was my everything.

<flashback ends>

"Well, this is awkward," Vause smiled half-heartedly whilst uncomfortably shifting her weight against the door frame.

"You think?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm going to leave?" Vause stated, raising her voice at the end of the sentence, making it sound like a question. I exhaled loudly, letting go of all the hurt and pain she reminded me of.

"What do you want?" She asked angrily, staring at me intensely. Although her eyes didn't sparkle magically like they used to and were instead filled with madness, she still looked the same. Her brown curly hair was the same length as the first time her I saw her, brushing against her defined cheek every time she tried to tuck it behind her ear. The red lipstick still stood out, contrasting her pale, silky skin. And even though the prison uniform was loosely hugging her body, you could still see how perfect her figure was. I almost smiled at the sight of her, but caught myself in the last moment and remained my poker face.

"Don't worry honey, I'm here because I have to," I scoffed, remaining cold and untouchable since Mrs. Rosa, DeMarco and Gloria were curiously listening to our conversation. Lorna squinted her eyes at me and stepped aside.

"Don't call me honey," she hissed at me, showing her disgust towards me.

"Oh, sassy. Nichols likes them like that," DeMarco grinningly says. For a short second I see disappointment flash through Lorna's eyes, but then she just scoffed arrogantly and mutters: "You'll never change." Just loud enough for us both to hear.

----------------

The lights are shut off and I'm left alone in the dark, enclosed by thin bed sheets and the snoring of Mrs. Rosa. Usually, I face the wall and try to avoid the memory of Lorna haunting me, but today, I turn around, staring at the small body curled up in the bunk on the opposite side of the room. For a few seconds, I continue to stare and follow her chest raising and lowering with every breath she takes until her breathing calms down.

--------------

What is this? I turn around, trying to ignore the sound of the other inmates here, waking me up. What was that sound? I opened my eyes only to realise that Lorna was quietly sobbing in her bunk. Her tiny body was shivering from both the cold and all the tears that were probably streaming down her face. Give her your blanket, I thought. Hug her, I thought. Tell her that all of this is temporary, I thought. But you can't, I concluded. Because of my reputation here, being a womaniser, I couldn't get closer to Lorna again. She already hated me, it would do no good when I brought shame on her name because of an acquaintance with me. DeMarco's comment earlier showed exactly what I was afraid of, Lorna's reputation being ruined and me being the usual Nicky, playing with her feelings.

So I clenched my fists together and faced the grey wall, trying to ignore the sobbing of the girl whom I once had loved so much. Maybe to some extent, I still did.

--------------

My palms were sweating, my heart was pounding and veins were already starting to pop out of my pale skin due to the amount of blush rushing through them. I glanced at the familiar small body curled up on the bunk next to me, oblivious about what was about to come. The others had already left the room, leaving her all alone in this lonely room.

The thoughts in my mind were racing, trying to decide whether to wake her up or to just let her be. But, as well as everyone else in this prison, I knew that if you were too late the COs would either put you in SHU or would take away some of your privileges in here. I coughed a little, hoping she would wake up by the sound without having to start a conversation with her. She rolled over, facing me but didn't open her eyes. Her brows were furrowed, her fists were closely holding on to the thin blanket on top of her. Even in sleep, she seemed to be stressed and frustrated.

I lightly tapped her on the shoulder only to be faced with a grumpy "Go away." I smiled at her words, which reminded me of all the times we had woken up together. It looked like we would be doing that for the next months as well.

<flashback>

"Lorna, Lorna," I almost chuckled as I whispered into her ear, trying to wake her up for school.

"No, leave me alone," she whined half asleep. I laughed at how cute she frowned when she was tired.

"Then I guess I'm gonna go now," I smirked already knowing that she wouldn't let that happen.

"No, don't leave," she mumbled pulling me into the bed again. She covered me with the fluffy bed sheets and cuddled up against me, the warmth of her body enclosing me.

We didn't make it to school on time. As a matter of fact, we didn't go at all. We spent all day lying next to each other, cuddling whilst every few minutes I planted kisses on Lorna's forehead and whispering: "I love you."

<flashback ends>

I exhaled deeply and whispered: "Morello." Lorna suddenly flinched and opened her eyes in a shocked expression. And when I was confronted with those brown, hazelnut eyes, it felt like nothing had ever changed.