The two of us - Nichorello

15. Proposal

<Lorna's POV> 

"Come on talk to me." Her raspy voice mumbled, trying to convince me. She gently laid her hand on my torso, where I could now feel the warmth of her palm on my skin. 

"Lorna, please" she whispered gently. Close after I could here the footsteps of Ms.Rosa and DeMarco who probably felt uncomfortable and left the room to give us some privacy. The bed creaked as Nicky pulled herself onto the bed and carefully sat next to my curled up body. For a few minutes we stayed like this. Her feet crossed over mine, her hand stroking my back in a rhythmical motion. 

After my breathing slowly calmed down, I crawled out from under the sheets laying my head on Nicky's lap. She wiped the tears off my face, causing me to look at her. The normally dark brown eyes has softened into a lighter hazelnut color, her lips displayed a sympathetic smile. Seeing her this loving always reminds me of our relationship. Her look became more intense as her eye color darkened and she started to glance at my lips. Inevitably I looked at hers too. She smiled as she noticed and bent closer, our lips gently touching. Her lips felt soft as she brushed them against my forehead as a sign for deep affection. 

"You can tell me anything Lorna, you know that," she said. 

I inhaled deeply, my eyes starting to fill with tears again. My voice sounded raspy and hoarse as I started to speak: "You're so successful in life. And believe me, I'm happy for you. I really am. But the fact that you quit drugs and you got a real job and even moved to another country shows me that you started a happy and a good life after we broke up. All this time I had always thought you were the darkness pulling the both of us and our relationship down. But actually, all this time, it was me." 

"No, Lorna. Is that really what you think?" I nodded in response. 

Nicky turned towards me, looking directly into my eyes, making me a little uncomfortable. "Lorna," she paused shortly: "You are the lightest thing that every came into my life. You still are." 

I smiled at her words, yet I knew that she was only saying it to stop me from crying. If I were the lightest thing in here life, she would have quit drugs while being with me. She would have fought for me. We would have stayed together forever. She would still love me. 

"If I was the lightest thing in your life," I said, "why didn't you try to keep me in your life?" 

Nicky closed her eyes as if in pain, and jumped of the bed. I took that as a conformation of my thesis. She was better off without me. Before opening the door she looked at me once again and stated: "The day I came by your dorm and Vinnie opened the door," she waited a few seconds "I was clean. I got a job and an offer from London. The only part that was missing my life was you." 

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

She inhaled deeply before saying: "I came by to propose to you." And with that she left the room. 

-------------------------

"What's wrong, Lorna?" his voice pulled me out of thoughts. 

"Nothing, it's just prison, I guess." I tried convincing Vinnie whom I was supposed to give my full attention to. Somehow, although nothing happened between me and Nicky, I felt guilty. Maybe deep down I knew that my heart didn't belong to him. 

"Is it that mystery girl, Lorna?" He sighed as he saw the guilty look on my face. 

"You never talked about your past until the cops were standing outside the door and brought you here. Maybe it's time we have that talk, hm?" 

He talked to me as if I were a child who had just stolen a candy from the candy jar even though she wasn't supposed to. Although he meant it nicely, I felt offended by the way he talked to me. 

"Lorna. This isn't a game. I need to know what happened." 

<flashback> 

"What do you think, honey?" 

"Don't call me honey, it sounds so weird coming out of your mouth." 

"What? Why? I feel offended," Nicky outed sarcastically, pulling me onto her bed with her. I kissed her on the lips, feeling the familiar tingling creeping down my spine. 

"We have to go, we'll be late for Alex's party." 

"We still have time," Nicky continued to kiss me: "Let's just stay here. Five more minutes. Five more." She begged. 

Although that sounded like a more fun option, we already missed our double date with Alex and Piper, we couldn't do that again. 

"No, come on. I'll just get my jacket and then we'll go." I pecked her on the lips and stood up. Last night my jacket was thrown somewhere by Nicky in the middle of a make-out session, making it impossible to remember where it went. Luckily, Nicky had plenty of hoodies I could borrow. Reaching into her closet, I pulled out a black sweater and put it on. Even though Nicky only was a few inches taller than me, her t-shirts fit me like a dress. Nicky chuckled at the sight of me in her shirt and pulled me in for a hug. "You look gorgeous," she whispered. 

The cold winter breeze caused me to shiver as we walked along the snow covered road towards Alex's place. My one hand was enclosed by Nicky's whilst the other one was warmly placed in my pocket. "You want to let go of my hand don't you?" Nicky smiled as she noticed me getting uncomfortable. I smiled at how she notices the slightest changes in my mood. Letting go of her hand and slipping into the pocket, I noticed a plastic bag. Pulling in out, I felt my heartbeat stoping as I saw the white powder in it. 

"Nicky, please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

"Wow, Lorna, I have no idea about that. I swear." Sadly, the last time she had promised to stay sober she relapsed after two months. I couldn't believe that she was breaking her promise once again. 

"You have to believe me I'm clean." She tried to defend herself, but I couldn't see through the wall of tears blurring my vision. 

<flashback ends>

"Okay, then. Let's talk." I said to Vinnie.