The two of us - Nichorello

4. Don't tell

<Nicky's POV>

I exhaled deeply and whispered: "Morello." Lorna suddenly flinched and opened her eyes in a shocked expression. And when I was confronted with those brown, hazelnut eyes, it felt like nothing had ever changed.

For a split second, she was in shock, but the moment past and she yelled angrily: "What the hell?"

"You need to wake up." I chose to keep the conversational exchange to a minimum since she already was enraged by my sole presence. I wondered why she hated me this much. Although I behaved like a complete idiot when we broke up and I figured that she would be mad since it was mostly my fault, she seemed to be enraged by just looking at me.

"Leave me the fuck alone. I don't need your help."

It hurt when the one who whispered: "I love you" into your ear hisses those words to you. I pressed my lips together and left the room. Even though she probably hated me even more for waking her, I didn't regret my decision. When Lorna and I were a couple, I promised her three things.

1. That I would stop taking drugs and quit the drug business as soon as I graduated.

2. That we would always stick together no matter what.

3. That I would always keep protecting her.

The first one was doomed to fail since I was a recovering heroin junkie, working for an international drug cartel. The second one technically she broke when she left me five years ago. But the third one, I had always kept this promise and I intended on doing so. Especially in prison, it was good having somebody on your side.

------------------

"Nicky what is going on with you and the new girl?" my Mom asked. Of course not my real mom, she hadn't visited me for over three months.

"Nothing, why?" I tried to brush it off, but Red had always been persistent. Just like Vause. Sadly, they didn't get along that well. Mostly due to the fact that Vause tried to avoid any relationships in here, especially people with attracting a lot of drama.

"Then I assume she is just your new prey again. Just like all the others. It's kind of fascinating how you always continue to find girls. You'd think there aren't any left."

"No," I stated bluntly while trying the right words to explain our situation. "She is not my type"

It was better this way. Nobody could know about my involvement with Lorna, it would make her life much harder in here.

"Wow, I thought everyone is your type."

"All right. Now you're just getting mean," I smiled at Red, who had become such a huge part of my life.

<flashback>

My hands were shaking, my whole body was covered in sweat and my vision was nothing but a blur. Being in prison meant getting sober again. This was the first time I quit drugs involuntarily, and I finally understood why you need someone by your side to get through this. My head was weakly resting against the wall of a bathroom stall, occasionally lifting itself to puke.

The sudden grip around my wrists surprised me, yet I was too weak to look up and identify the person. I was lifted off the ground and carried over to the sink where a Russian accent began talking to me. Was this a hallucination?

"It'll get better," she said while splashing water on my face, cooling my boiling skin.

"You have to reach rock bottom to know which direction to go next," she continued to give me advice. I had never felt so pathetic in my entire life, a Russian woman whom I had never spoken to until now was wiping the sweat off my forehead while I stood there shivering and crying. As if she could read my thoughts her voice changed.

"Listen to me, if you do this again, I will do you way worse than this. Understood?" I understood every word, but instead of answering I just sobbed and cried on her shoulder, hugging her half-heartedly.

That was my rock bottom.

<flashback ends>

----------------

"And another day in this beautiful prison complex."

"Fuck, you really wanna get out of here, don't you?" I grinned at the raven-haired woman who was only talking sarcastically since she got here.

"Only 2 more years to go."

"You only spent like 4 months in here, I've taken shits longer than that."

"You're disgusting. But all jokes aside, Nicky two years. That's a long time you've spent in this hell hole. Why didn't you give me up? I would have totally understood."

"I threw a lot of people under the bus, I mean I've only got a few more months to go. But you, you're my best friend. I'd never give you to the feds."

"It's us against the world darling," Vause chuckled taking my hand into hers, pretending as if we were in a relationship.

"The prison food must have really killed a few brain cells up there." I pointed at her forehead.

"Speaking of dead brain cells, have you talked to Caleb or Logan recently?"

"No, I think they're both still in prison, but if something should change I'm going to text you."

We both laughed at my joke, but truly I think it hurt more. Even though we constantly made jokes about our limited freedom, we both knew how much we missed it. Looking at funny memes online, just hanging out together without being constantly watched by COs or just drinking coffee in the morning. For the first two years where I was locked in here, I didn't have any visitors. Once my mother came, but we got into a huge fight, resulting in us never speaking with each other again. Vause couldn't call or visit me because it was dangerous. She was still a free woman and any association with me would have caused suspicion. So you can definitely say I was surprised when the raven-haired woman suddenly showed up in the visitation room.

<flashback>

"Squat and Cough!" The CO yelled at my face, grinning at me. I hope this mysterious visitor was worth all this humiliation. I pulled up my pants and dressed fully before going through the almost unfamiliar door of the visitation room. I smiled shortly at the sight of people without prison uniforms and then looked around for my mother, who most likely decided to come and yell at my poor life decisions again.

"Nicky?" A raspy voice said. My eyes laid on a tall, pale woman whose eyes were shimmering with tears. I couldn't believe it was her.

"Holy fuck," I muttered as I hugged Alex tightly, inhaling her familiar scent.

"What- What are you doing here?" I asked bewildered.

"I'm joining you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kubra gave them my name. My prosecution was yesterday, even Logan testified against me."

"Those dumb fucks. How could they do this to you? After everything, we've been through. How long is your sentence?"

"30 months" A tear escaped from her eye as she stared at the ground, hoping that all of this was a nightmare. Sadly, this was reality and in prison, you would have anything left to even start daydreaming.

"That sucks, I'm so sorry." I gently stroked her hand, hoping that it would give her some consolation.

"At least I'll be in here with you."

<flashback ends>

"At least we're in here together," I smiled at the memory of our first prison encounter. "But Vause, don't tell anyone about Lorna, alright?"