The two of us - Nichorello

9.Trouble

<Nicky's POV>

Then, as if the thought had just occurred to her, Red said: "It's her isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" I said innocently.

"She's the reason why you're acting weird lately. You're in love with her-."

"No!" I almost yelled, trying to deny the obvious. How did Red always know exactly what I was thinking? It had to be some sixth sense of hers. Although I did not want to tell Red or anyone for that matter about my past with Lorna, I did owe this woman a lot.

"Remember when you asked me if I was always fucked up like this? Using people?"

She nodded and paused for a second, giving me her full attention. I turned around to check whether somebody was listening us, and then continued: "I was fucked up like this since my parents left and the girl I once liked started bullying me. However a few years later I met Lorna, when I transferred schools."

I exhaled slowly, trying to suppress the tears in my eyes. Every time I only thought about my relationship with Lorna, my body seemed to harm itself, my throat became scratchy, my heartache increased and my voice became high-pitched. Now, telling this story to an actual human being, all these symptoms were starting to control my body.

"She and I, we fell in love. And after a year of, you know, complicated stuff I told her that I loved her and she became my first real girlfriend. After school ended, Lorna went to college, and I started working and even though our worlds drifted even further apart, we managed to stay very close. Unfortunately, because I didn't see Lorna that often, I recollapsed a couple of times, because I was a junkie. Two years later, Lorna broke up with me, while I was in the hospital after an overdose. And since then I have been really fucked up."

Red was shaking her head in disbelief as she wrapped her arms around me. I closed my eyes and inhaled her mother-scent, a childhood memory, I was never allowed to savour.

"How long ago was all of that?"

"Five years, and suddenly she shows up in here. I mean, what are the chances?" I let out a hopeless chuckle.

Red pressed her lips together, unsure of what to do. She probably didn't expect me to be such an emotional mess because of one woman.

"And what are you going to do about her?" she raised her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you planning on getting back together?"

"No, of course not." I lied, trying to convince Red, as well as my own conscience. "She is engaged. And I'm not in love with her anymore."

"Ha! What a lie, Nichols," Vause came in, interrupting my pleasant conversation rudely.

"Did no-one ever tell you to not interrupt a conversation miss Alex Pearl Vause?" I knew that calling her by her full name would drive Alex insane.

"Very funny, Nicole."

"You two still behave like children, know get out of my kitchen!" Red pushed both of us out of the kitchen while laughing the typical mother laugh.

Vause and I slowly walked towards the common room since I still wasn't assigned to a dorm. "How long is it gonna take for them to finally put me to the dorms, don't wanna stay in that fuckin' room, forever," I scoffed.

"You're outta here soon, anyway aren't you? What was it two- three months?" she asked both happy and disappointed by the fact that I was gonna be able to leave soon.

"Only two dude, finally. I can actually drink coffee, and go to bed whenever I want. No pornstache observing my every move, and god- out there," I pointed towards the doors that led to the free world: " there is actual freedom."

Vause's eyes had filled with tears from my little speech. I felt bad, knowing that she would be stuck in here for two more years. She smiled slightly, noticing the change of my mood.

„How did you make it?" she mumbled as we sat on the mattress, which actually was a thin blanket.

„What do you mean?"

„You've been here for a long time and not once did you recollapse. You didn't take drugs, weren't involved in drama. You almost made it, Nicky. After only 8 months in here I already want to commit suicide." She chuckled as if she were joking, but I know that many prisoners were considering this option. In here, you loose yourself. You forget how it is to be free, every choice, every minute of your day is already planned. I can't even remember what freedom feels like and if I'm being honest freedom, the thought of getting out is scaring me more than being locked in here for another year.

„If you die in here, they win. The prison complex, the fuckin guards, the cops that are actually rapists. Every single thing that is wrong with all of this," I gestured wildly, pointing at the prison walls around us: „ they win. All of this was enough to silence you."

„You're not serious right?" Vause asked suspiciously knowing that I wouldn't answer this philosophical.

„Yeah I'm not, I grinned. It was Red, she really scared the shit out of me." I grinned.

——————————
„Nicky Nichols, please report to visitation. I repeat Nicky Nichols please report to visitation."  The speaker said from above. A frown appeared to my face, whilst I wondered who could be visiting me today.

My mother? She hadn't visited me for months after our incident. My father? He didn't even care to pick up the phone when I called him. My friends were all stuck in prison as well, so that couldn't be it.

I stepped through the door leading to visitation room, where my eyes immediately met the blue eyes of both Logan and Caleb. My mouth stood open as they both embraced me with a hug. 

„What- what? What are you guys doing here?" I stuttered completely overwhelmed by this situation. 

„Well, we both got released two weeks ago. I only had to serve one year, and Logan he got immediate release for good behaviour." Caleb explained. Good behaviour of Logan? I frowned as I recalled Vause mentioning how Logan gave her to the feds. 

„You mean Logan betrayed Vause," I raised my eyebrows cockily, standing up for my best friend. Logan blushed, whilst rubbing his neck, a nervous gesture of his I had totally forgotten about. 

„I was hoping she'd forgive me. We requested her too, she should be here any minute." Logan mumbled ashamed. I nodded approvingly whilst grinning, unable to hide my joy from being reunited with both of them after three years. 

„So tell me-." I was just about to continue a conversation when Logan's pupils dilated to twice there size and he instinctively scooted backwards with his chair. I turned around only to see the raven haired woman angrily staring at Logan, her eyes filled with rage and anger.