The two of us - Nichorello

12. Grow up

<Lorna's POV>

"Vinnie? It's me, Lorna!"

"I know Honey, what's up? Can I come to visit you soon?"

"Uh-," I hesitated for a moment, hoping he wouldn't get suspicious: "About that. What happened yesterday?"

"The girl with the orange hair, the junkie-one," I clenched my fists, trying to suppress the urge to defend Nicky. "She is the mystery girl. I swear, Lorna, it's her."

<flashback>

"You're a hard habit to break," I sung quietly in the showers while rubbing the disgusting feeling off my skin. I hated the fact that I still sung our song in the shower. I resented the fact that I was still crying every time I was left alone. I still was mad at her, for having such an impact in my life even though she wasn't in it anymore. I hated the fact that even though I had a boyfriend, Nicky was still my everything.

The doorbell rang, interrupting my sobs. I heard the slow footsteps of Vinnie walking towards the door, then the loud sound of our wooden door opening and following a short conversation I couldn't follow. Supressing the high-pitched sound of my voice, which was about to break once again, I said: "Who is it honey?"

A short pause followed my question and suddenly the door fell shut again. Did he leave me? A panic voice inside my head wondered. Although my head was worried about that scenario, my heart knew that deep down it wouldn't matter. Vinnie was just a boyfriend, a temporary bandaid trying to stop the bleeding of the wound.

Water dripped from my hair onto the bathroom tiles as I wrapped a towel around my body and exited the bathroom. The familiar sight of Vinnie sitting on the couch almost made me cry as I saw his smirk instead of Nicky's loving smile.

"Who came to visit earlier?" I asked curiously, assuming it was Brittney who wanted to copy my notes again.

"A girl. Really weird, mumbled something about wanting to talk to you. A friend of yours, apparently."

"Brown hair, brown eyes? A little taller than me?" I began to describe Brittney. He tilted his head, probably picturing her in his head, trying to remember what she looked like.

"I guess," he shrugged his shoulders, uninterested.

Three weeks later we realised that we were talking about two different people, but until then he wasn't able to describe her to me that well.

<flashback ends>

"Are you sure?" I asked, my mind telling me to stop hoping for something that didn't happen.

"Positive. It was definetely her. She was all fidgety, her hands in her pockets, a frown on her face, as if she were to cry any second." He chuckled a little.

I don't know if it was the chuckle or the fact that she almost cried, but something in me broke. A little voice that had always surpressed my regret and my guilt, suddenly popped, leading to the realisation that I made a huge mistake.

"Do you remember what she told you?"

"I don't know. Who cares anyways?" I DO, I thought. I bit my tongue, mumbling some lame excuse and ended the awkward call.

----------------------

"Alex? Have you seen Nicky?" I had searched for Nicky everywhere on campus, hoping to talk to her.

"No, why?"

"I just really need to talk to her." Although I wanted to tell her what was going on, I felt the obligation to talk to Nicky beforehand. On the other hand, Alex might know something too.

"About earlier. Do you know anything? Ya, know, what Nicky was doing at my dorm that day, was she trying to apologise or something?"

The raven haired woman took off her glasses and sat down next to me. Sensing that this would be a very serious talk I scooted closer to her.

By the way she inhaled but then suddenly stopped her movement as if she had swallowed the words again, I could tell that she changed her mind about telling me. "Talk to Nicky." She exclaimed whilst leaving me alone in her dorm.

Almost all hope seemed gone as a familiar shadow moved along the hall. "Nicky?" I exclaimed. Even from behind I could see how her body tensed up as she heard my voice.

"Yeah?" She asked, turning around in a slow, cautious motion.

"I need to talk to you."

"Since you started a conversation, I kind of figured," she commented sarcastically, reminding me of the old Nicky. We slowly walked towards Alex's bunk since we both hadn't been assigned a dorm yet.

"Vinnie told me that it was you. Five years ago. What were you doing there?"

"Coincidence, I guess." She shrugged her shoulders, shutting me off. How could she do this to me again? After all the things we have been through, she still did this. Just like in high school, closing the gate to her thoughts, secluding me from her life.

"Please, Nicky. Don't do this again, you're behaving like in high school."

"Lorna, you don't get to tell me how to behave." She shook her head, her eyes filled with disappointment and sincerity, not the usual anger. "The way you left me five years ago, leaving me in that hospital. You had every right to leave me, I am aware of what I put you through. But the way you left, that was your own choice and in that moment you lost every privilege to tell me how to run my life." Even though her words hurt, I could tell how much she had grown up. What a mature human being she had become, I almost smiled.

"You've grown up so much," I whispered tears of both joy and sadness filling my eyes. How come I felt so proud, yet lost at the same time.

"We both changed a lot Lorna, the thing is, our chemistry never did." She smiled slightly, exiting the dorm, letting me completely forget of the actual question I wanted to ask her in the beginning.