Jerusalem

Chapter 6 (Knowing)

Knowing the truth , some people say that it relives you and make you feel better , others say that it doesn't make you feel better at all . The truth always hurts and that's fact that we can't deny but I guess it's better to get hurt now then to live a lifetime in ignorance . Youssef had all these thoughts on his way to the files department in the army . Ali entered found that soldier file and gave it to youssef who didn't read it out loud . A lot of informations were written but youssef was searching for something to find the connection between him and mariam . But he was amazed to find the connection in his name . His name was Faras Tarek El Mahdi.Youssef was confused as he knew that Mr. Tarek had no sons , he only had two daughters. But in the middle of his confusion , he was happy . He felt it , his heart bounced to the news . For that moment , he felt that all his problems are solved and everything is okay even though it's not and he have a lot to worry about. For that particular moment he felt fine.  

"So? Did you find out what you were looking for?"asked Ali eager to know the answer as he never saw his friend interested in anyone so he thought that this guy must be something. 

"Yes, I did. You probably should return that file before anyone notice."answered youssef. 

Ali put the file back and both of them got in the car and drove away."so? When are you going to tell me what is this all about? Or as usual you won't say a word?"ali asked trying not to lose his temper but he was curious and wanted to know. 

"Ali, it's nothing. "Said youssef who find ali's reaction screaming :you better start talking before I kill you . So youssef decided to take the safe road "it's just ..you know that girl , the one I am married to , Mr. Tarek's daughter, well she was standing with that guy and I wanted to know who was he . That's all . It's not a big deal . See?" 

"Not a big deal? Are you listening to yourself right now? Youssef mohmed , the guy that girls stand up in a line for him , that had met girls all over the world and left all of them with a broken heart because he wasn't that interested. That guy is interested in a girl and you say it's nothing. "Said Ali with a smile of astonishment that didn't leave his face and then he continued after all he couldn't shut up now " When did that start happening ? As far as I know you two didn't even talk together. " 

"We didn't. We won't. There is nothing going on between us so drop it ali. This conversation is over."said youssef but something inside him felt that he was lying when he said that they won't talk again because he knew they would, in fact he can't wait to meet again and he made up his mind that the next time he will definitely talk to her but he wasn't sure what he wanted to say .  

That unexpected meeting came closer than expected. As youssef woke up from a good night sleep (owing to the fact that the guy is her brother). That day was the last day out of the army then he would go back to the unknown. Youssef went running which was a habit back in america and turned into a drill in the army but that wasn't a problem as youssef loved running. The day was bright and there was a smooth cold breeze. A perfect day for running. Youssef cleared his mind for a while but then the thoughts kept rushing into his mind . He thought about Omar (he didn't see him yesterday when he came home and didn't see him when he woke up today . Where is he?). He thought that usually when Omar disappear that means he is in a love story . Unlike youssef, omar always thought that any girl that he loves or think that he love could be the one that he will marry. Omar belived in love and gave all his relationships a chance to get serious. On the other hand , youssef thought that love is overrated and searching for the so-called true love is a total waste of time because simply it didn't exist. Youssef thought that he wasn't even capable of such feelings. That's what his exes and the rest of the girls that he had been with through his life had proved. As some of them were perfect and they had an really amazing love story or the conditions of a great love story but none of it was enough for him. There is no girl that gave him what he was looking for , no one gave him that feeling of forever. That's why he believed that love is a sweet illusion that we all want to believe that is real so we pretend that is real , we lie to ourselves until we believe the lie. But youssef being an engineer , he only believed in concrete facts, things that he can touch and see. His mind only accepted things based on statics. Youssef trusted equations coz no matter how hard they are , he always solve them . He used to think of people as equations, each one of them has a key that leads to his answer. And if love has an answer, it means that it has a reason which means it is not real. Love is just a beautiful illusion.