Jerusalem

Chapter 40 (Six degrees of separation)

I held myself tightly on the bed like I was going to fall apart or something. I heard door knocking, I couldn't move, I didn't want to move.

Knocking person, go away, just go away.

But the knocking kept going, so I forced myself up, pulled my legs off the bed and zombie-walked to the door.

"Salma...." I said, not believing my eyes.

"Who else?" She, Salma, asked sarcastically. She pushed me, got in and closed the door.

"You're here?" I was really lost.

"I'm . I'm moving in town"I heard her say.

"Is everyone moving in here?"I couldn't stop my angry tone.

"Well, not forever. Luckily I have a piece to translate and as it's very long, I decided to take some time out and do it over here. " my friend said, and I heard every word she didn't say. I wondered when did we become so close. I guess it's one of death effects.

"I think it's a great idea, Salma. I mean Jerusalem is a beautiful city. You could definitely relax and chill out."

"Yes, I saw some of it on the way here. If it wasn't for my family, I could actually live here permanently. "

"That makes two of us. I love this city with its dusty roads."

"Only the city....."my sneaky girlfriend trailed.

"Drop it, Salma"

"You didn't see him yet?"

"I did"

"You didn't talk?"

"No, we didn't. I saw him but he didn't see me."that was it, I tried to stop them, I never used to cry in front of anyone but now my tears betrayed me and escaped my eyes.

"Mariam, what is it? What happened?"she asked worriedly and caring.

"It's ....."

Three days later, I got myself worked up. The college was stealing my every awaking moment and I got caught up by my new students and their new dialect.

Salma, on the other hand, never left me alone. She was trying to make me feel better, assuring my thoughts that it must be nothing. That maybe the red headed woman was just a client in his new engineering company. Maybe she is an engineer. After all I didn't really see anything, they weren't even holding hands. I kept telling myself this can't be true, I'm just overreacting. Even if I saw them together, I wouldn't believe my eyes. This is how much I trust him, I trust him more than I trust myself.

I stood at the gates of his company, amazed by its architecture. It was like it grew from the ground of Jerusalem, like it has been here for a thousands of years, it looked like an inseparable part of the city. God, Youssef you are a hell of an architect. I adore your work, I adore you.

Standing in front of your secretary, I told her that I needed to see you but I held my name back. She went inside to tell him, I guess, that a crazy girl that wouldn't say her name want to see you.

I glanced at the mirror next to me, my reflection was a girl wearing a black long dress, a black veil and a low heel black shoes. Black was my inseparable friend now.

The secretary came back and let me in finally. I walked in slowly and there you were , you were standing over your long drawing table , doing a project. You were so focused, like being in another world.

Looking up, our eyes met accidentally. You didn't look away, you kept gazing at me and I gazed back.

"Are you going to stand there all day?"your voice broke the silence. Well if I said I missed your voice, it would be the understatement of the year.

"I..I just didn't want to interrupt you"I stuttered

"Well, you're not interrupting me."he said coldly. So I took three steps forward and you put your pencil down, moved across the table. You went to your desk, sat behind it and pointed for me to sit on the chair next to your desk. And I did.

"If that's your plan to push me away, let me tell you its not working" I said challenging his eyes, if you want to play this game Mr. Mohammed, let's play then.

"What plan? I have no idea what you're talking about."you shot back.

"Are we going to act like strangers now?"

"Why are you here, ma'am ?"

"I'm here to see you"

"You saw me..then what?"

"You don't have to be a jerk"I shot at him.

"You are right, I don't have to. I'm a jerk. The question is what are you still doing here? "

"I'm still here for the guy that I'm in love with. See, he never gave up on me so I'll never give up on him."

"Well if it isn't obvious, that guy is gone. It's a lost cause."

"I'm going to bring him back."

"Good luck with that"he finished, ending our conversation/fight by standing up.

"Have a good day, sir" I said turning my back and walked away.

I was about to leave the company when I saw her, the red headed girl. We walked past each other, she turned her head to me, her eyes scanned me. Not that I wasn't doing the same but I don't know why she would do that. I forced myself to get out of there.

My heart sank down as challenging and determined as I was. I felt scared to death. I knew you were going through the six degrees of separation. The shock, the grieve, the denial, the anger, the violence till the acceptance. But I can't tell you how much it hurt me, seeing you take it out all on me.