Jerusalem

Chapter 21 (Distance)

     His hands were wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer to him. The kiss was long and passionate. She felt her heart skipping a beat. She thought she might die if she forgot to breath. It felt like forever.

"I'm sorry but I had to"he said looking deeply in her eyes.

"Don't be" she said trying to breath

"I have to go. Have a good day, Mariam " he said as he walked away. What was he thinking exactly? Where did this come from? Every cell in his brain shouted that he was wrong. He can't do this. There are millions of reasons , why they can't be together? And yet he couldn't think of one as he was heading to the army. A smile broke into his face despite of his brain and it's arguments.

Yet he decided that he was going out of his mind. He was acting like a teenager and this is has to stop. That day he decided that he can't risk breaking her heart and that from now on he is going to keep his distance from her .

So she kept calling , texting him but he never replied. She came to the army base but he didn't come out to see her . He send that he was busy. He avoided her in every kind of a way. He couldn't see her or talk to her because he knew that once he did there would be no going back.

He focused his mind on the army and the war. There were tons of things to do. And he had to act fast.

Everything was ready for the mission. The target was to paralyze the isralian army. And there was only one way to do it. Youssef was picking up his jacket to leave as he checked his phone. He found her text : " this silence is deafening "

He wanted to call her , he wanted to explain. But he was leaving on another deadly mission. And he didn't know what to say or how to explain any of this . But now his heart won the battle. He had to see her one last time. He had to. After all he didn't know if he will ever come back.

He parked in front of the house. He called her : " come outside" and he hang up. She put on her veil quickly, ran to the door , putting her shoes on as she stepped out of the house. She was wearing jeans , a white long shirt , blue veil and black long boots. They stood facing each other. She had millions of thoughts and questions rushing through her mind. She wanted to ask him : why are you doing this? Why are you keeping your distance from me? Only why? But the look in his eyes stopped her. She sensed the danger and she knew that her whole world would be turned upside down and nothing will ever be the same again.

"Are you leaving? ..... Why are you here? Why did you come?" She asked fighting her tears.

"I came to say....."

"No, no.. Don't you dare say goodbye. This is not goodbye. Not until I see you again. " she said as she pushed him with her tiny ineffectual fist. She kept pushing his chest . He moved back and she moved forward . " you can't do this. You can't. People always leave. They just leave. I know that but I won't have it this time. I won't say goodbye. So just go." She continued.

He didn't say a word. He just stared at her. As if he was carving her in his mind, his heart. He took a step toward her and she took a step back. His gaze penetrated her heart. As his lips met hers. He said Goodbye , the only way he could. He turned around and was about to leave when she grabbed his arm and faced him.

"Promise me , promise that you are coming back "

"I can't promise you something that I don't know . "

"Be safe" she said as her heart trembled inside.

He crack a deep warm smile. And she wondered how could he smile in times like this. But his smile , it always made her feel safe.