Jerusalem

Chapter 39 (Teenstuff)

For the past month, I kept calling, and I couldn't even be angry when you didn't answer. I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

I went to the local college, the only one in Jerusalem. I had emailed them and applied to work there. They needed all the help they can get. I gave them the papers needed and like that I would start on Sunday which was the day after tomorrow.

I headed to no place in particular, I just wanted to talk a walk in the roads of Jerusalem. The architecture was old, historic and give you the feeling of desire to discover the secrets of its castles and mansions, the stories of its mosques and churches and most of all the intriguing feeling of an adventure. I couldn't deny I loved this city. I loved it's soul. And the people, they just, well they deserved someone to fight for them. And this war was inevitable and unstoppable.

But the cost? It's just too much to pay for your freedom and dignity with blood. Blood is priceless.

I thought about that phrase I heard once * a great love story is not written with ink , it's written with blood *

I don't know why I thought of that but this city, it gave me a feeling that pain is the cost for what you want. The cost? I guess we really have to pay for everything....the question is..

Can we afford it?

Omar gave me Youssef's address here. Of course Youssef didn't tell him , Omar had to go to the intelligence service to find out where he lives. I gave the address to the taxi, it was getting dark. I looked through the window, watching the buildings and the houses go by.

My heart was hammering inside my chest the whole way, my stomach did a back flip, I couldn't control myself, I missed him and I wanted to see him even If I have to pay my life for it.

I stood looking at the house where you're supposed to be living. It was shaped as a circle and made of glass (you could see the living room from outside), it was connected to a swimming pool behind it. It was just sad, have you ever heard of a grieving house?

I knew he wasn't there, I felt that I'm lost and not found. The tears started building up in my eyes, I needed to find you now. I am a teenager, your love made me a fearless, fierce and crazy in love teenager. My emotions were violent, passionate and just out of control. I no longer recognize me but somehow I'm only me when I'm with you. And for the first time I love the person that i am. The person that is strong enough to fight for what she wants, to fight for who she loves, to fight for what she believes in. Never surrender and if she has to die, she'll die fighting.

That's why I promised myself that I will fight for you till my last breath. I'm not going to stop no matter what.

I held the tears back into my eyes, not letting them go. Getting ready to fight to death, after all you're worth it.

Footsteps, I heard footsteps, and I could see his forehead coming, saw his face, his arms and all of him stood in front of all of me. And i felt every cell in me dance in victory. They can finally breath.

Missing can actually kill you. I sighed in relief, a feeling that I didn't feel for a long time. I took a step towards you, just about to run and throw myself at you. I was stopped though by a figure that came from behind you, a girl that was probably my age , her red curly hair flew down to her shoulders, her dark brown eyes sparkled in the sun, she was very beautiful and attractive . She was dressed in a black sleeveless blouse and a black tight jeans with black high heels.

They didn't see me , standing there across the house. They just passed, opened the door and got in....Together.

I froze from inside out, the tears covered my face, running down like waterfalls, i felt fragile, just like my heart, falling to the ground. I crawled to stand up and then I don't know how but I ran, I ran like I was running for my life. I don't remember how but I reached the hotel where I booked a room, I pushed the door open and threw myself on the bed, crying , crying out loud. Everything in me screamed in pain.

Who was that bitch?

I fell asleep, crying