My Life Right Now

November 4, 2018

Ohhhhhhh righty!!!

So right now it's 6:30 a.m. and Oh mah lord a lot has happened happened since I last updated.

So at school about three weeks ago, there were fall play auditions and of course I went, 'cause I love being on stage. The play is titled You Can't Take It With You. There were two days where the audition took place and we had to come with a prepared contemporary monologue. I attended the entirety of both for my friends. The first day of auditions was so nerve-racking, but I live for that shit. Also, it was the beginning of my first friendship with someone, Miles, so that was really exciting too. However, I messed up the monologue. I forgot the lines so I skipped to the part where I knew. Then while I was reciting the monologue I had chosen, I remembered the part I forgot. That was what happened on the first day.

On the second day, I went with my classmate, soon-to-be-friend, Lucy. We were lab partners and to start a conversation I started talking about the school play. She said she was auditioning too. She's also really pretty, so it tarnished my confidence in getting into the play. However, I'm never going to tell her that. We went to the second-day audition and she had to tell her "friend" that the auditions were after school, since wanted to be in the play as well. As a result she had to use my phone, which is fine. I later found out that her "friend" was her boyfriend, Vito. I saw both of them audition and, well, let's just say I wasn't so worried anymore. Not that they were bad, it's just not as good as me.

Also noteworthy, there was there was this one boy who auditioned and he was just a sputtering hot mess. He stuttered, he forgot, and he was just so nervous. Once he was done, I had the utmost sympathy for him and so did half of the auditioning people. Vito and Lucy were being all lovey-dovey and I was third-wheeling, so I made use of my time and consoled with the sputtering boy.

I went by my normal introductions–since I was so used to it by now, y'know, new school and all– and I learned that his name was Brennan and he's a junior, but it's his first year at the school. I was talking about how I messed up my audition. However, he said that I did fine. That's when it hit me. Was her there when I auditioned? I asked him said question and he answered yes. I was so focused on everyone else I didn't even realize he was there. I admit I felt little embarrassed. I could tell the more we talked about auditions and stuff the more he was starting to break. He started to cry and I was probably the least helpful in the situation. I literally just said, "Its okay. I won't judge." And that's it.

God, I'm awful at crying situations.

I think two days later I got a call back and Lucy and Miles were there as well. I was so happy I wasn't alone. On the contrary, Miles and I were called on to stage to set our casting skills multiple times, while Lucy only got one chance.

The up-coming Friday was the day the roles we posted up and since Miles had zero period, he sent me an picture of the paper and oh my god, I GOT CASTED!!!!

I got casted as Ed Carmichael, Lucy got casted as Duchess Olga Katrina, Miles got casted as Donald, Vito got casted as Paul Sycamore, and Brennan got casted as The Man–which is a little insulting– but hey! He got in! Everyone I knew in auditions got in! I was elated.

As the days went by, my classes got switched due to inflation of students, so now I have a bad grade in math for not being informed of the switch. Plus, my math teacher sucks. My original math teacher was a whole lot better. She was lightning fast too, which is totally my speed. My new class sucks. My teacher is way to slow and he gives out more homework than necessary!Idkrjenehsogmfbrkeofwkwnsnsjsjsnen!!!!!

I think just last week, Vito and Lucy broke up due to Vito's orientation confusion. Lucy told me this and now she wants me as a "wing woman" and I know I'm not going to live up to that name. I guess she just wants to feel attached, which I can't understand why, but I won't bother asking.

I've made new friends but the majority, I'm realizing just now, are male soooo yah. This one boy, Christian, is I half of my classes, but we never talk, which is super awkward as well, since we take the same train to school, until last week. When Jackson and Allen, two other friends were talking to each other with Christian, so I was like, might as well, I don't have any other friends here. Now Christian and I are... not necessarily friends, but more like... buddies. When ever one of us aren't talking, the awkwardness increases exponentially. Those are usually times when I wish cricket chirping noises were in my life, to set the mood and all.

I went to the cooking club meeting, but before all of that, Dominic (Dom), the president if the cooking club, started talking to me out of the blue. I don't want to come off as rude or mean–blunt's more of the word I'm looking for– but my initial thought was "why are you talking to me?" I really don't enjoy talking in general. It just feels like unwanted energy depletion. Even worse is that, I've concluded that Dom likes me. *deeply sigh* I don't want a relationship, at all, with anyone. So I might be jumping to conclusions, but have your thoughts on the matter.

He's texted/asked/said to me what's my schedule like, are you doing anything this weekend, what time do you get to school, what did you do after school, etc. Plus, he's walking me to my classes and it's claustrophobic*. So I'm planning on rejecting him and setting up friend-zone barrier before he even continues to smother* me.

Well that's me venting for ya.

Good luck in life, Loves